ReFolutionair

Switchfoot - I dare you to move

2008-12-06T12:06:00.004+01:00

Since this blog is actually just for me. To remember things I've discovered, or to throw some of my thought out in the air, I thought I might as well be free to post even a year after the last one.

By the way,(in advance): Happy 2009 ;-)

The last time when I was as tired as I am now, I was 17, school seemed to be too much for me, and in that year... I met Jesus.

It turned out to be a year where I learned so much, even though it seemed like a very frustrating year at first. Jesus dared me to step into a new life with Him.

I can say, the past few weeks it feels like He's daring me again.

Switchfoot has this great song, "I dare you to move". Find it on youtube somewhere. The song is just really "my song" these day's even though I have no clue what next step to take.

So, when I like a song, because of the lyrics I usually try to come up with an illustration. And I mix the lyrics with some picture. I couldn't help sharing this one.

Everytime I look at my desktop, it makes me smile.

Hope it makes you smile TOO

And if you put it on your desktop, it may remind you that there's more to life.

Or that right now is the moment to make that choice you never dared to make.

Or to finally speak up for what you really believe or...

...or to finally step out in the thing you know God's had put in your heart since you were little...

...believe me... I'm preaching to me.

But I already HAVE this picture on my desktop ;-)

Merry Christmas and a Blessed 2008

2007-12-23T23:24:00.000+01:00

Relationship with.... God?!

2007-12-23T22:38:00.000+01:00

"It's a mind-blowing concept that the God who created the Universe might be looking for company, a real relationship with people, but the thing that keeps me on my knees is the difference between Grace and Karma."
"You see, at the center of all religions is the idea of Karma. You know, what you put out comes back to you: an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, or in physics - in physical laws - every action is met by an equal or an opposite one. It's clear to me that Karma is at the very heart of the Universe. I'm absolutely sure of it. And yet, along comes this idea called Grace to upend all that 'As you reap, so will you sow' stuff. Grace defies reason and logic. Love interrupts, if you like, the consequences of your actions, which in my case is very good news indeed, because I've done a lot of stupid stuff"

(quote from BONO - U2)

To me, Christmas is the evidence that God wants a relationship with us people so bad.
We mess up everything He created (the world, nature or our own bodies), we deny Him, don't recognise Him, mock Him...
His the Most High King Who is offering an eternal life with Him, a life based on Love - His love for us - and a life based on His acceptance.
As a Mighty creator, He could've easily make us love Him, but He wants voluntary love.
So He came down to this earth and reached out to win our hearts.... to win my heart... to win your heart.

As Julie Miller sang: "How could you say no to this man"

No Buts

2007-11-10T12:53:00.000+01:00

"gerald troost" and "nobuts" were playing in de Peppel here in Zeist yesterday evening.
It's been a while since I got surprised by music... but here it was.
gerald troost is Dutch worship but with a personal toutch.
The style of music wasn't particularly my cup of tea, but the honesty and the lyrics was!
Nobuts was my style: three guitars (accoustic, electric, bass) and a drummer is all it takes to play good Dutch songs.
Strange to mention this in English...
...but I like good Dutch lyrics. :-)

On of the songs they played was (translated) called: Fear not!
Somehow I sense that that's a word for all christians for the coming season.
Whatever comes, God is with you so be of good courage and fear not!
It's not even a suggestion, it's more like a command: "Fear not!".
:-)

I had the opurtunity to talk to Gerald and his wife for a minute. The thing that struck me was, that he is really sharing his own life/songs/music.
It's really courageous to open up like that on stage. And to experience that in a small place like "De Peppel" (quite small , it can contain like 200 people) is really encouraging me to be like that.
I've experienced what it's like to play music in front of a group.
But when it's your own song - that's more fragile.

I hope I'll be albe to translate my emotions/thoughts in songs one day.
Until then, I'll just have to post entries like this and redirect you to websites from people who have developed that gift and put it into practice: "gerald troost" "nobuts"

LIFE

2007-09-11T21:59:00.000+02:00

I'm totally aware of my ...
... lack of posting any entries during the past few months really...

I couldn't possibly summarize all that has been happening
or briefly share all the small and big thoughts and revelations that have going through my mind.
So I'll just share today's thought as if it was last week that I posted.

This morning, as I was walking to go to work...
...it was colder then before,
...a bit darker outside when I woke up,
...a bit gloomier in the sky,
...trees were beginning to loose their leaves already!

And I just can't get around it: Summer has ended again, and Fall is coming.

Somehow I tend to take the seasons as a picture of how our lives can be.
Fall always seems like life is slowly going out...
trees look cold, pale, empty... and it doesn't look like they'll have any fruit/green on them anymore.
Sometimes I feel like I'm not fruitful in things I do...
and there are moments I feel less alive.

There are two really hopeful pictures in the Fall...
one is, whenever it feels like your life becomes dry and empty of life, you may get the most beautiful colors at that moment! You just may look more beautiful then ever.

When you finally let go of all the outward ' things' you're showing off with - the core of you becomes visible...
...and it's not dead at all...
...it'll get stronger during the storms and cold.

You need hope (for springtime to come) and faith (that you're really not dead, but being strengthened in who you really are, and one day you'll be fruitful again)

I hope this makes sense,
since it's late for me as I'm writing this.
But for me Fall, this new season, is a hopeful season.
colorful, challenging, from strength to strength.

I like it!

I'm An Orange Moon

2007-04-24T23:30:00.000+02:00

The Light That Never Fails

We all, with unveiled face,
beholding... the glory of the Lord

(2 Corinthians 3:18)
We must build our faith not on fading lights but on the Light that never fails.
A Christian servant is one who perpetually looks into the face of God and then
goes forth to talk to others.

(Quote from "My Utmost FOR HIS Highest" by Oswald Chambers' one minute devotions)

I read this truth two days ago... And experience it for myself time and time again.

When I'm in a meeting, knowing myself to be out of fear for what people may think about me, and determined to meet with God, I know this is true; We are made to reflect the Light.

Erykah Badu, however weird her mindset may be, had this song, and it comes to my mind quite often. This song "orange moon", is what I feel when I've had not just another service where we just sing our songs and leave unchanged

(I'm fed up with those kind of meetings, our prayer should be that a meeting will honor God as God, will not leave us unchanged, and will be a real meeting with God instead of just a humanistic 'nice' gathering going on),

but sensed a glimpse of His Light. Whenever that happens, it hits me. Because every time I'm deeply honored that God Himself continually tries to come into relation with us.

Im an orange moon
Reflecting the light of the sun

I praise the day
He turned my way
and He smiled at me
just smiled at me

How good He is
How God He is
I'm an orange moon
I'm brighter than before
Reflecting the light of the Son

Poodle

2007-04-22T21:13:00.000+02:00

I'm about to post more 'spiritually justified' information...
I just laughed out loud reading this while searching for some kind of technical information

... While this is indeed the "best practices" approach for creating a box with rounded corners, it is not always feasible for those of us who are developer teams of one, and whose artistic skills match those of a brain-damaged poodle...

:-)

Article on www.4GuysFromRolla.com/

BECOME

2007-04-01T20:27:00.000+02:00

There's so much more about you

that you never let them see

You turn away

But not to Me

And I know how they tried to take you

Held you up and meant to break you down

But you can't be

For so long I tried to reach you

I know I'm almost there

I'm close enough for you to see

You've been hiding in the shadows

Have you forgotten how we used to dream

Let me remind you

The light doesn't blind you at all

It just helps you see

Can you see

You have become

You have become beautiful

- become - googoodolls -

- This song came to my mind last week.

Last summer on the airplane to Minnesota, while skipping through several albums they had,

I listened to this song and it struck me.

And even though I didn't buy the album, I didn't forget the lyrics.

It's not a christian song, but I believe Jesus wants to tell me (us) the same:

DON'T HIDE from me,

DON'T be scared to come into the light...

You know light helps you see,

Which is positive, but not always appealing, because

standing in the light of Jesus will make really clear all your deeds, thoughts, faith and unbelief.

But He sais:

Come close, don't be afraid, because I am the Light, and I won't hurt you, I want to open your eyes, I want to give you LIFE.

I want you to get OUT of this world that is breaking you, and invite you into Mine.

I want to open your eyes and show you who you really are.

I try to reach you, please don't hide in the shadow, let me come closer,

I'll enlighten you and free you, but first you got to open up.

Come into the light.

Dancing Queen

2007-03-23T23:34:00.000+01:00

I've been sick last week...
---- yes again ----
Because of that,

I missed the bible-study-thing we're having on Thursday
I missed the bible-study-enclosing-weekend we had last weekend
I wasn't able to post anything uplifting really AND
Became aware of the fact that I should really take things down a little bit.

"Don't worry about a thing, make all your requests known to God and the peace of God will guard your heart and thoughts"

Enfin - Enough Excuses

DANCING!!!

...it's quite commonplace to talk about "what are your plans for the coming weekend" on Fridays. So today that question came up more than once. And as I don't have any significant plans, people get surprised why I don't go out to dance... go to a club somewhere.
I always give some spiritual reply about "how the whole dancing - bar - club - scene is not really 'my thing'... I love to dance, but as soon as half-drunken-men start puffing in my ears, it takes away all the fun. And they always puff ;-)

BUT as I walked home, I started thinking (yes, I did! and it didn't hurt) why I don't dance, while I love to dance.

And the honest answer to myself actually IS the spiritual one: that I don't want to get myself wrapped up into a life that is about club-hopping and drunken - puffing men.

Still God put this desire in me to dance.

Why would He do that! It's not like His hobby is to get people as frustrated as can be, putting in them a desire to dance and then asking them not to.
So the one conclusion I could think of, would be, that dancing is designed - originally - for people to express themselves with. for people to worship God...
...and if God created music and dancing and art - and He gave all those artistic gifts to us...
...then why is music about the only artistic expression of worship that we know in churches???

In my first month as a christian (I was about 17 years old) I already knew there was something missing in the church. I looked around in the church, and saw young people "bored to the core"... and it hit me... because I knew God wasn't boring at all!

I'm NOT pleeding for churches to have Dj's come over or to turn services into clubs, And I really don't know how we could dance more in churches in a way that will honor God as God, since He is Holy, but I just can't believe He'll put a desire to dance in our hearts without any way to use it in worship of Him.

He isn't boring and He'll never be! He is the Creator, the Master Artist, The One Who Makes All things NEW. And today it hit me again: we - men - have put God into such a boring humanistic program, while I believe with ALL MY HEART that

God is inviting us TO DANCE!

And then it's W - E - E - K - E - N - D

2007-03-11T12:07:00.000+01:00

Marvellous!

I can't remember my last plan-free weekend... but there it was... right this weekend... this is the one I want to remember until the next one comes. I strived to keep this weekend plan-free, and succeeded. Strive diligently to enter that rest. :-)

Hebrews 4:11 (Amplified Bible)
Let us therefore be zealous and exert ourselves and strive diligently to enter that rest [of God, to know and experience it for ourselves],

I watched a beautiful documentary "Etre et Avoir" with my roommate Friday.

Yesterday the sun woke me up. And it's a weird habit, but, if I have the chance, I love to go and watch the crocusses in Den Haag. So that's exactly what I did.

I'm sorry... the picture is not really as beautiful as I intended it to be, but it enables me to share this joy with you all a little.

Then there seemed to be some out-door-photography exposition, (fortunate) and during the entire morning, (GLORY GLORY) I enjoyed the sunlight. I stood there for about 15 minutes bathing in the sun. And after that, took this picture.

:-)

In Den Haag... people from some church in Den Haag were preaching the gospel on the streats. I started talking to one guy from that group. His first question was if I go to a church. Well, one has to start a conversation somewhere, so far so good. As he noticed I was a christian too, he started preaching - really preaching - about "their" church. Haha...
I've seen so many churches here in Zeist now... There is no such thing as an "ideal church". So I didn't repent from non-babtism-church-attending yesterday. ;-) But I WAS really happy seeing Christ being proclaimed.

Phillipians 1: 18But what does it matter, so long as either way, whether in pretense [for personal ends] or in all honesty [for the furtherance of the Truth], Christ is being proclaimed? And in that I [now] rejoice, yes, and I shall rejoice [hereafter] also.

So it only gets better, because as a result, I was all the more looking forward to go to the local reformed church here.

So this mornings service, I ran into my roommates parents who happen to be there. :-) They introduced me to people I never really met before. As I mentioned in my last post: greating strangers, meeting new people, is something that is really important to me. So I loved it.

That church is far from what I'm used to. It's not "evangelical" or a babtist-church. Its singing psalms, it's the organ, the pulpit, the program. For the natural eye it's your standard boring service. But God was present there. and that makes all the difference. I had trouble keeping my hands down while singing and praying (because I'm used to be more --- mmm --- expressive).

The church is in desperate need of the presence of God.

Smile at someone you don't know

2007-02-19T19:55:00.000+01:00

One of my favorite things in life, is meeting (new) people.

And today was just an ordinary day. At work it was... just ok. I wasn't too happy this weekend... so today was just ok.

Anyway...

Walking to the supermarket - on my way back home - I met this guy I knew from a student-church I sued to go to. Haven't seen him for months! And it took us five minutes to talk about life, church and Jezus. So from an ordinary day, on which my mind was set on last weekend - how hard it is to really be a good friend, and see my relatives regularly, etcetera... it turned into a mind set on Jesus and how God works and besides that, that there are more people around here in Zeist longing for Jesus.

Greating strangers and meeting people can make all the difference.

SO:

Smile at someone you don't know

this was ones the slogan of a "LEE- yeans" commercial... but it works!

Lighten up the day.

By the way, this is a picture I took last week. I just woke up and I just needed to take this picture. Though at that state-of-mind I wasn't busy getting the best shot - How I just love my room on second floor :-)

Long live independency

2007-01-21T14:23:00.000+01:00

Olé olé...

I've been feeling sick since Friday, but Yesterday it broke loose. I coughed till my longues dried out. How our welformed bodies wait patiently for weekends to get sick Sigh.

Anyway... I wasn't sick enough to stay in bed all the time... but couldn't stay up longer than 10 minutes withour feeling like fainting either. I'm too sick to do things, but feel good enough to be able to think instead of just sleep.

And I get a little grumpy whenever I'm sick. I worry about the things I can't do right now becáúse I'm sick. Like when to meet my niece when I can't make it to her birthday, or where to do the laundry...

see... we don't have a washing machine.

And it got me thinking about the following:

If washing machines didn't exist, then less women would've been able to work full time in some office. You'd really need a day at least to do the laundry.

Men wouldn't be single that long, cause they would still live at their parents house, or marry earlier. Why? They'd need someone to do their washing. ;-)

hehe, sounds funny huh? but I'm not really kidding.

It's not just the washing machine,

It just struck me, that we need eachother.

I need someone to make some tea when I'm too sick to do that. I need someone to pick me up when I'm down. It could be my friends, people from my local church, my housemates, my family, my better half... my point is just that I'm not created to be totally independent!

There's a hole system of merchandising and society-atmosphere that proclames independency.

If I should believe television, I could actually start believing that I'm able to live independent on others, and still find happiness.

But I just want to state here: we were made to be dependent upon eachother and God!

When I look around me, I see lot's of people (especially singles, but married couples as well) who're trying their best to be independent, to live 'their' lives independent on others and independent on God.

We work 9 till 5, do the jobs that need to be done in the house, clean, cook or (worse) use microwave-food cause no-one is cooking us something and we're to tired or busy to cook ourselves.

Try to do sports, keep up with their 'social lives' (if that doesn't meen: trying to keep as many contacts to feel more important)
We don't need God, we plan our lives and what God intended us to be is unimportant or too scary cause it might just be exactly what you want to be. ;-)

If we get tired, we forget that God wants to give us real heart-peace. But instead we'll buy shoes, eat more chocolate, work-out more or work a bit harder to forget we feel empty and unaccepted.

And somehow the community provides,

If we want, we could oursource our entire lives to people we don't really know that much. People who wouldn't ask you how you are; babysitters, grocery-delivery-services, microwavefood, msn.

Man, If the supermarket could chew our food for us, we'd let them.

Yes, I know, maybe I'm exaggerating a bit.

But I just want to ask you,

Are you, deep inside, busy with trying to be independent?

When you'd like someone just to be there, would you call someone, or actually hesitate because you might interrupt someone elses "fresh&clean" independent lives?

Men, do you ask for directions sometimes? What is it in you that you don't do that?

When I'm really honest, I know sometimes I'm too proud to ask for help. And I hate it.

Because

we're not created to live like that!

hyacinth

2007-01-14T15:11:00.000+01:00

It's been an interesting week again.
Confusing, tiring, amazing, surprising,
as the weather was stormy,
so my thoughts were rushing thorough my head.

I started this week waking up too late, I was late for work and was confused during the rest of the day.
But it ended quite well.
Tuesday we had a meeting for the Art-Of-Connecting (www.yfc-zeist.nl) that was really good. Wednesday, ate with a good friend of mine, haven't seen him for a while, so that was really nice.

Thursday...
was kind of hilarious really; We had some new-years-festivity going on at work that evening.
Quite a party that was, with a band playing lot's of Stevie Wonder - and other danceable stuff. Somehow just a few people danced. But it was just fun to be there anyway. I like Stevie, so I was being of the few who danced. It was fun.

Friday!!!!!!!
:-)
Right after work I jumped into a prayer meeting which was close to where I work. It's the national week of prayer or something. I didn't know, I just knew there was a prayermeeting, and I really really REALLY wanted to go there.
It was wonderful to meet perfect strangers from another church. Something within me went 'click' when I met these people. Not because of mutual interests or backgrounds or even the church-culture we are in.
We started with eating together, sang a few songs and then started praying.
Every time I meet other christians... no matter what church they're from, we're one.
We're really all just a part of one body; the body of Christ.
And we're all different,
like a toe is different from an arm,
or your eye is quite different from your stomach.
every part of the body, has a different look, a different function, another thing it does,
and if every part of the body does it's job and is healthy, and is well treated and loved by the other parts, then the body is whole, complete and stable.

Imagine your nose will try to see like your eyes do.
Then your nose will do a horribly poor job smelling, and it will be a pityfull thing to see.
Imagine your nose being your eye, and your eye trying to be your kneecap,
my Lord, your body will be pityfull and totally messed up. And every single part will be really frustrated trying to be/to do what they were never made to be/to do. Your body will end up not functioning at all.

Did you all know one day SOON Jesus is coming back?!
Well He is,
And it sais in the Bible that He will come back to take His Bride, His beloved church,
Believe me,
He is not coming for a bride that is pityfull and messed up.
He is coming for a pure bride.
I believe Jesus wants the chirstians to be ONE
to function as ONE BODY, loving eachother for what they do and the way they do it.

It's just so wonderful to see a glimpse of that during such a simple evening with fellow-christians in my hometown.
And if you're asking me what I'm doing here in Zeist...
I'm determined to use this time in which I'm not really involved in one particular church, to join the different churches and enjoy the way they go with/for Jesus.

Yesterday we had another prayermeeting. Different people, different organisation, same story. God is building His church, and I'm really glad He's got it all figured out.
For more information: http://www.yfc-zeist.nl/ and http://www.jongerengebedsdag.nl/

(P)REVIEW

2007-01-03T20:57:00.000+01:00

So 2006.
This picture taken in December represents it... (It'll be better If you'd click it)
Colourfull
Interesting
Tiring
With dark moments, but also
new insights,
walls to jump over
mountains that moved and
mistakes I've made by which I've learned.
and - obviously - a camera to take pictures with (glory) now you can all enjoy the beauty of the sky every now and then. ;-)

2006

This was Christmas December with a Diner Together with my housemates (table)
We went to the movie Happy Feet.
But celebrating christmas at the days before that has been good as well.
With "all" my posible families: My moms family, My dads and the church.

Friday I had a (special) year-closure-diner with my dad (cake :-))

In this is a hopeful me, I enjoyed last years Autumn,
But I'm SO looking forward to this new year!
Looking forward to jump into Springtime, new places I'll go, People I'll get to know, The people and art that will move me and hopefully I'll be able to encourage others myself; being exactly where God has me.

At January 1st this hope was being confirmed by this afternoons' sky
I want to wish you all A VERY HAPPY AND BLESSED 2007!!!

Got the message

2006-12-24T15:55:00.000+01:00

I just need to post this before we all go into christmas thinking
it's about family, lot's of candles, presents, wine and romantise the whole thing.
CHRISTmas is still about CHrist,
The Son of God
Going to this earth,
leaving His Heavenly, Glorious place close to His Father
Stepping into this wicked world,
To save me and you
Believing that,
will cause you to live in His Light
To deny Him
will cause you to feel even more lonely every christmas,
trying to get some of that light with a christmas tree, candles and all that stuff.
Jesus came
and He will come back...
THat is our hope
picture: people.csail.mit.edu.jpg

If I could look beyond your face

2006-12-07T13:53:00.000+01:00

If I could look beyond your face
And photograph your hidden place
Would I find you smiling in the picture

I don’t know what you want
Because you don’t know,
So what’s the point of asking

You’re almost happy
Almost content
But your head hurts

Far too many ways to go
We learn so much but never know
Where to look
Or when we should stop looking

I can love the whole of you.
The poetry I stole from you
And hide inside my stomach

You’re almost happy
Almost content
But your head hurts

It’s easy to get lost in you
And fall asleep inside of you
I want to return to you
A reason to be here
A reason to be here

K's Choice - Almost Happy

The song is not new, but I just bought the cd and as I was listening to this song, the lyrics struck me. Especially the first three lines,
If you know that you're really crying inside, why would you like to laugh?
If you know you're really exited inside, why would you say "it's oké"
If you never thought you needed to cry, maybe your innermost has fallen asleep.

With other words
I'm asking you, as I was asking myself while listening to the lyrics:

If I could photograph my hidden place
Would I find myself smiling in the picture ?

I know I can fool myself and lot's of you.
God sees right through me, and If He'd found me crying in that picture, would I run to Him or would I shut myself; fall asleep inside of me...

God made me to be real, to be all He created me to be.

Who Created The Sky

2006-11-20T20:58:00.000+01:00

Any Idea of How Beautiful Autumn Can be
Yesterday
Gazing
Out Of My Window
I Took This Picture, and it's oké,
The SKY is AMAZING,
In all that is In Me, I could never create a sky like that

ReFolutionair

2006-11-19T13:57:00.000+01:00

I tried updating for so many times, but couldn't
Wanted to work on a new website, and find some resources, but couldn't
Tried to send out an update-email for next Thursdays biblestudy-evening, but couldn't
Kind of frustrating; not being able to do anything on the internet

My patience has come to an end, and I admit: I cannot go without internet (I proclaim that I won't either).
It explains why things don't get posted around here!:-)
Now you know

Me and Poo(h)

2006-11-05T18:38:00.000+01:00

Me and my mattress are one.
And my alarm is horribly disturbing that.
I dreg myself downstairs to the kitchen...by now my eyes have opened just enough to see there's still some coffee left,
so all I need to do is boil some milk to get my needed amount of cafeine
I take the milk out of the fridge...
somehow didn't think I already opened it before, so by means of habbit,
I shake the bottle a few times...
By the time I gave the third shake, I found out that It was already opened...
My eyes have opened a little more, and they see all white spots of milk on the kitchenfloor.
SIGH
I whipe the floor in this braindead-mood I'm in.and go on with my usual morning-routine.

I go out and take my daily walk to my work.
Because leaves are all over the sidewalks, you could easily slip a bit, so I mind my step,
BUT
Just around the corner... my LEFT foot just slipped over something other than just a leaf

- Good morning to you too, it's Dog poo! -

It wasn't too bad, so I descided to walk along, believing it would vanish from under my shoes by the time I got to work,
my soles don't have any profile, so it was gone halfway.
I laughed about myself and didn't think about it anymore
But just two blocks before I arrived at work,

my RIGHT foot ...

- Right -

What was it that morning! Me and poo
Christopher Robinson knows...

------

By the way:
Check out these movies from BakingFreaks Bake-A-Ton
They're hilarious
What baking 24 hours straight does to people...

Neat Read

2006-11-05T16:53:00.000+01:00

--!!Check This Out!!--

This Article Is Very Very Good,
And I'd like everyone to Read It

Thanks to Gregg

Don't Go Anywhere

2006-11-04T12:44:00.000+01:00

Hi There

it's been a while... that doesn't mean nothing has happened. On the contrary... I couldn't make time to post some of 'all that'
I've had a very interesting week...
Starting last Saturday...
...I needed to go into town, and right before I went, I prayed briefly that I would run into someone to talk to. (I know... THAT desperate to talk... I can't explain, It's a woman-thing I guess) God regularly brings people on my path whom I can relate to at that moment. Well... ask my roommates... they know I regularly get into conversations with people that I've never met before. It's really interesting, and one of the Main reasons why I still like travelling by public transport. Anyway, I ran into Eline, I know her from a lastyears biblestudy. She told me there was going to be a special meeting Sunday in Zeist; A 'holy surprise' meeting. And that news kind of made me descide not to go to my former church that Sunday, but stay in Zeist.

Long story short:
- Saturday evening... meeting to prepare for the biblestudy that had started last Thursday!
The meeting was good... The team is really great, and everytime we meet, no matter how tired I am, give me energy.
- The Sunday morning Holy Surprise meeting was really good, though to me it was still a 'program' rather than a 'listen to God and let Him Surprise us'- meeting. But still considering my preconceived ideas it was a surprising good meeting ;-)
- Sunday afternoon I went back to my mom and went to Marjo's birthday!!! JEEE
- Monday I woke up , feeling so connected to my mattress, but a new week had started...
The rest of the mornings felt likewise... BUT with one huge difference, I descided to stress a bit less about work... It's so weird... colleagues can both bring you to a stressful mind and ease it at the same time.
anyway
- THURSDAY bible study evening! We were with 12 people, 5 to 6 teammembers and 6 participants...
we all ate together and really took the time to get to know eachother... I played guitar but didn't do much more that evening other that listening to stories... man, I'm so exited about this... I'll explain later, but I really believe we're going to get to know the Lord better, get to know eachother, learn how to listen to others sincerely.
- Friday...

all I can say is: check this out: It was a bakeaton... I was there, I went to bed early and woke up at three to support this amazing kitchen queeen,... Jolanda was there as well... She stayed up until three, so we switched "Keep Corianne awake and baking" - service. So yeah, I'm a wreck at the moment, but supporting the one and only BAKINGFREAK is worth while!
Hehe... it was fun.
:-)

Sleepy

2006-10-24T20:30:00.000+02:00

I tend to collect pictures I find on the internet; usually to underline the mood I'm in, or to illustrate a bible verse that struck me. And other times just because I like them.
And as I was going through some of these pictures to distract myself from studying, I found this one again:

Weeks like this are intense and tiring. Making me silent but it's spinning around in my head as well. I'm so enjoying my work at the moment. I've never learned so many things in such a short amount of time. And Lord knows, I love to understand things! At first I wasn't sure if I was honouring God by throwing myself into job-related things, but every time I ask Him to either confirm me or get me fired, He confirms me.
I'm reading in Proverbs now almost daily (today is the 24st, so I read chapter 24)
Verse five struck me this morning:
a wise (wo-)man is strong and is better than a strong man, and a (wo)man of knowledge increases and strengthens his power
.

The Picture - It's one of my favorites - google "Ilya Repin" to see what he is about and to go through some paintings. He's one of the most impressive artists that I know of...

Sweetness of Oktober

2006-10-22T22:03:00.000+02:00

Color of the trees I walk by daily

My Autumn Motto
Promised picture
Eveningview ... I took this picture at the end of a long wednesday at work
I just love the colors during this season...

COPY RIGHT

2006-10-12T21:45:00.000+02:00

I started the drawing like 4 or 5 years ago, inspirated by a book I got about Russia, and later on by an exposition of an incredible artist: 'Ilya Repin'
So Finally I've been able to finish it for my dad's birthday this September...
...I love the fact that I finished it.
Somehow I feel really satisfied by this
I've always thought: "when I finish this work, it will be a triumph"
and it encourages me that I AM able to get things done

...but sometimes it'll cost me years.

Seasons Change

2006-10-07T10:45:00.000+02:00

To Briefly summarize the last few weeks:

CHURCH-THINGS
I layd down the tasks I had in my former church, Beth Refajah in Hardinxveld (next to Sliedrecht where I was bourn and raised) One of the girls in our church joined the club of young girls who help with displaying lyrics… she did a good job.. --PICTURE-- they all do… I’m glad they can pick it up now.
Just two days after I fired myself from this task, it opened up new doors for me in Zeist: I’ll be joining a YFC-team in giving a bible study to teenagers, teaching them how to spread the Gospel by true interest in others instead of pushing some lectures and leaflets into people’s throat; focussing on their relationship with the true God, instead of focussing on ‘winning the lost’. This has been on my heart to do for years, so I’m very thankful that I was invited to join the team and being able to serve the young people here in Zeist.

SATURDAY
I went to Rotterdam to our monthly FIRE-meeting. Missionaries from Fire leaving Holland temporarily the coming few months... Sigh... it's gonna be quiet, but I know they'll be back in the beginning of 2007.
So Steve, I've got your missing picture from last Saturday. but I'm unable to post it right now for some reason... --PICTURE--
Steve and his brother. I was glad he was here.

ALSO
My best friend and her husband moved back to Hardinxveld. She used to live in Utrecht, which is from a comfortable distance from Zeist... but now she's as far as my former church is... and so a new Season started for her as well.

TUESDAY
Picked up my roommate from the airport. She was on holiday in Malta for only a week. But my other roommate and I were very glad she was coming home again.
So… Tuesday… right after work, my roommates mom picked me up at work, and my other roommate was there as well… We called ourselves the “blue front” since we were all dressed in blue that day. --PICTURE-- The three of us drove to Amsterdam… and waited
And waited --PICTURE--
And there she was. JOY!
I SO LOVE MY ROOMMATES

WORK & STUDY
Switch from being rather free at work to study on whatever was relevant, to finishing a project on time and starting studying for MCTS – certificate. (Lord help me)
Last Wednesday was a tiring but very interesting; I’ve learned a lot.
And was able to take this beautiful picture at the end of the day when almost everyone had left.

--PICTURE--
Wednesday was sweet and cold.
Summer had really passed

TODAY'S SATURDAY
Going for a walk now it's sunny weather... maybe take some pictures
And maybe take some time to study
...or not
First finish fresh made coffee and take a proper shower

Let the wind blow

2006-09-23T14:22:00.000+02:00

The wind blowing over a Dutch beach. (I believe it's Schiermonnikoog, but I could be wrong).

I've had a few people asking me to write some more about my experiences in Minnesota. And I'm very sorry I haven't been able to communicatie all that. It has been too much, really... I've been thinking about a way to communicate it... and I can only think of this picture.

Do you know that feeling;
a storm surrounding you, yet it feels you're not a part of it;
the wind is blowing, and you're standing in the midst of the storm...
...silent.
That's kind of how I'm feeling lately.
Lot's of things are happening,
many people are expecting God to DO great things in this country, DOING things...
and I don't seem to go anywhere, not even getting exited.

It doesn't feel like some devine kind of peace...
...just like a lot of things are happening... and I've learned so much in Minnesota -
many thoughts and "could haves - should haves - would haves" run through my mind -
and I become more silent.

It feels like I'm re thinking what It is that I'm living for. Am I really living for God, or for the money, myself, recognition. Am I really driven by His love in my daily life, or by (churchly) strivings, fears and spiritual appearances.

It blows me away and makes me stand silent at the same time.

picture from www.jeppehoman.nl

NEMO

2006-09-17T22:01:00.000+02:00

You'd say,...
What do these pictures have to do with... anything?!
Well... let me tell you
They saved my day last Friday.

This is a (rather blurred) image of the fish bowl.

At work... in the room next to me, they have a fish bowl,
And last friday
I took some pictures...
I happen to have my camera with me
And joy oh joy...
It was very good timing because...

One of the men working in that room was
cleaning the bowl and
BEHOLD! There was a guppy!!!

It really made my day. :-D
Maybe you can recognise it on the third picture here, by clicking on it. Since it was kind of hard to make a clear picture, I added
a small arrow so you know where to look for

More relevant entries coming up ;-)

Slow to speak, so to speak

2006-09-11T20:49:00.000+02:00

Haven't got the time/energy/inspiration to post until now. After my rather tumultuous holiday,

with lifechanging truths, and life&death-issues to digest,
I was actually affraid to go to work again.
I know work won't kill me(quite the opposite), but I was more and more concerned if I could ever be of any worth to this company.
I prayed intensely the last sunday of my holiday, and prayed on my way to work on mondaymorning.

It turned out to be one of the best weeks at work I've had so far. I had fun, I've had the opurtunity to do a lot of programming-work.
Got some positive feedback here&there.

Saturday was such a beautiful day, that I went for a walk through the woods nearby together with one of my roommates.
This is one of the pictures I took
The end of the summer/beginning of fall can be beautiful...

YESTERDAY....
7 people got babtised in the swimmingpool near our church.
This is one of the pictures I took. It's so awesome when people surrender their lives totally.

Col 2:12
...you were buried with Him in [your] babtism, in which you were also raised with Him [to a new life]

And usually I'm laughing and shouting loud on occasions like this... but It was all silent in my heart. It has been that way for over a week now, like I'm more aware that God is God; He Is Holy; He is not some toy to play with on sundaymornings and have a good time with.
He is THE HOLY ONE
And that makes me (just a bit) more silent...

No place to hide

2006-09-01T21:45:00.000+02:00

Good readingfood!
Take a minute to read
the following entry:

Just your average revolutionary: No place to hide

More pictures

2006-09-01T10:13:00.000+02:00

Last Saturday - my last day - we went out for a picknick... and here is a family standing in a small stream which is the actual beginning - spring - of the great mississippi-river
Luckily there were a few girls around my age. We were happy to spend time together.

Do you - Steve, Dan, David - recognise these girls? They came from fire and knew all of you. So it clicked. weird to have mutual friends overseas.
Besides the amazing teachings that were all together huge revelations... I'm going to miss this:

Sitting in the dining hall with 70 people... sharing food AND our lives... Having breakfast together after a prayermeeting. Sigh.
Two French guys. I'm going to miss their joy. Whenever they entered a room, they'd make me smile just because they were smiling.

On Fridaynight the three of us skipped just one meeting to watch the sunset
It was worth it :-)

Pictures

2006-09-01T10:05:00.000+02:00

Babtism in the lake nearby
Art saying goodbye to Fred (the animated man)
FBI...

Holland could use some servant-hearted guys like them

Sigh...

Women from the Kitchen... they stole my heart... not just because of the good food.

Cold Stone Ice Cream

How could I go to the USA and NOT have any

Scott, Debra and Gloria

I travelled back from Bemidji to Minneapolis with Gloria
The three of them are very special. Priviledged to meet them

Bitter Sweet

2006-08-29T17:07:00.000+02:00

Here I go...

My plan was to leave the US on Wednesday and arrive Thursdaymorning. But I descided to leave three days earlier because of the following;

Last week, I woke up praying, and thought... let's check my email. I usually don't care to much about my email when I'm on vacation... but this was important.

The picture you see here, is not a holiday picture, It is the picture of my pastor and my best friends father, Bert de Vries.

He died last week.

And I changed my plain ticket to make it to his funeral, that was yesterday. This sad truth slowly starts to sink in, because it wasn't really real to me until yesterday.
I can say honestly, that I'll miss him. He was a man of God, I know he prayed a lot for everyone in our church, fo which I'm very thankful. To me he was so much more than just the one who preached on Sunday's, but he seemed to have faith for all of us by which he was able to encourage us. He was the one who prayed with me when I wanted to live my life for Jesus. and really just like a father-figure to all of us.

Though this is very sad (and that's an understatement), I'm glad for him, that he is home now, exactly where he wants to be: with Jesus. And our church will carry on. Jesus IS the Life and the Resurrection, and He died on the cross so that we Are healed by His stripes. We will live and declare the mighty deeds of the Lord.

Again this awakens me about the reality of death. And that I'm glad to know the Lord, because I know for sure that I'll see Bert when I leave this earthly life, by staying close to Jesus. And everyone reading this who is not sure about an eternal life in heaven, should consider that living with/for Jesus is the only way to get there.

I could spent hours to tell you how amazing my holiday was. (which it has been)... but that is of later concern.

things you like the most, should be shared

2006-08-09T22:37:00.000+02:00

Guess Who

...it's Winnie the Pooh

My dad was here for a moment... just to be able to meet before I leave next Tuesday.
He brought some great pastry from Rijswijk... and I made the coffee.
(Everyone has his own talents ;-))

We talked about lot's of things. Few of the things we talked about was the websites that I liked, the animation-film-festival that is coming up in november, and
then I mentioned that I so loved the russian version of winnie the pooh...
so we started looking for that one.
I couldn't find you all a movie-file... but believe me.. it's way more funny than the dutch one

well...
things you like the most, should be shared
This is one of them

that's probably the main reason I started a weblog.

Another thing I'd like to share is that
I'm exited about coming Tuesday,
To tell the whole story would take to much time right now but
I believe God has great things in store
So please pray for me I'm open to receive all He longs to give

LimBurg

2006-08-07T21:33:00.000+02:00

This weekend, I went to Summer School, which was amazing.
I'll tell you later when I've had the time to let all the impressions sink in and able to communicate all that in an antry like this.
The Summer School was in Ysselstein, near Venroj... did you know that Wikipedia actually had a version in this Dutch dialect? It's fun...

IJselstein (Nederlands Ysselsteyn) is e dörp in de Nederlands-Limburgse gemeinte Venroj, tösse Venroj en Deurne in, op de Pieël, tege de grens mèt Noord-Braobant aon. Op 1 januari 2006 had 't 2154 inwoeners; de groond besleit 3315 hectaar. IJselstein, geneump nao minister H.A. van Ysselsteyn, is pas gestiech in 1921 es kolonie vaan woe-oet de Pielgroond oontgonne woort. Belangriekste bezeensweerdegheid is 't Duits militair kèrkhof, mèt 31.598 doeje oet d'n Twiede Wereldoorlog en zelfs 85 oet d'n Ierste Wereldoorlog. Väöl daovaan zien oet ander graove gehaold en hei herbegraove. Bij IJselstein ligk ouch de Pieëlraamstèlling, 'n stèlling vaan kazematte die es verdeidegingslinie deensdeeg.

anyway,
there was one thing I didn't like; the amazing amount of bugs; flies and especcially wasps.
So... even thought the sun was shining... I didn't stay outside longer than five minutes or so, because the bugs kept bugging me. Besides that it was great.

My mom enjoyed it too, and it was just such a blessing to be able to speak to Loes, Corianne, Henrike, Francine, Steven, Steve, Bobby, Dorien, Bert Doornbos (he's from "Schreeuw om leven"), Marjo and everyone else. I didn't have the chance to really talk to some other people who were there, but still really good to see everyone and meet new people and have brief conversations in between.

So today I had a hard time at work; I really wanted to be there in Limburg...
But God is great: This morning at breakfast, God showed me, that I only had just one sip from a whole bottle of water, and there's a lot more that God wants to give/reveal/do in my life.
So I've tasted and I've seen...
...Yet there's more to come.

RUN Forest RUN

2006-07-30T16:04:00.000+02:00

They who believe, don't haste.
Well... this believer is running

from town to town;
Zeist to Sliedrecht (weekend at mom's)
Sliedrecht to Rijswijk (for a week of looking after the cat)
Rijswijk - Zeist Zeist - Rijswijk (during the week)
Rijswijk - Zeist (on Thursday evening, to pack my bags)
Zeist - Limbrug (leaving Friday right after work to Summer School)
Limburg - Zeist (ending the week travelling back to Zeist on Sunday)

out of patience with the heat...
out of inspiration... ...to blog probably because of the poor internet connection.... I secretly blame the heat)
out of time to reach my goals at work for the coming two weeks...

Besides that...
I was invited to this birthday party from someone I know in Zeist. And it was a pleasant surprise that there was a group of family members and friends who were all open to the Lord, and combining that with a wide interest for music and culture and working with teenagers...
I'm so glad I've met all these people...

Also
I just mentioned the busyness in travelling, but I planned all this myself - so I have myself to blame...
and also... Summer School in Limburg is WORTH travelling. :-) Even only for a short weekend.
THe cool thing is... my mom will be there also :-)

Teenage Mutant Hero Turtles

2006-07-27T21:57:00.000+02:00

The First one I got was more fun...It said: Elise Voogt Wille be terribly missed by the Teenage Mutant Hero Turtles...Anyway... Find out yourselfHilarious Stuff... Thanks for the linkQuizGalaxy.com

Early Mornings

2006-07-20T08:27:00.000+02:00

I Can't help sharing this
Yes, it's amazing how warm it is outside... AND inside. I have the upper room... and when wind lays down, it's just too warm in there...
One thing I get in return
Are the amazing views of the sky when I woke up this morning Or a beautiful ray of light shining on my floor when I'm enjoying my breakfast

Anyway

I just love early mornings

Here in Zeist... when the heat wakes me up at 5 am... I hear all the birds from the wood sing their heart out. That's an amazing sound I can tell you.
:-)

ANNY MADE IT

2006-07-12T21:56:00.000+02:00

In my brainwave of making a few simple stop-motion animations last monday,
I was going through one of my favorite websites again.

PLEASE SHARE MY JOY;
ENJOY THE FOLLOWING ANIMATION: SOUNDS

He is not cheesy

2006-07-06T23:42:00.000+02:00

Something I just thought about today in between the duties at work;
I stood still and in my thoughts I whispered to God: Father, I love You.Thank You that You are sweet.

Just as I prayed that prayer, I thought about how people sometimes have the wrong perspective about what "Kind" or "sweet" means.

My mom, she is really direct in everything she sais and does. Subtle is not her middle name... but she IS really really sweet. I love her. Not because she is always there for me, she is interested in me AND tells the truth. Her goal is never to put me down, but to bring me further.

When I thanked God for His sweetness... I didn't think about His kindness/sweetness as something cheesy. Sometimes when someone tells you the hard truth, it comes in quite hard, but you know that it's actually very kind of someone to tell you the truth even when it's hardYour intuition would say: that's hard but you just know it's the best sometimes when someone is kind enough to step over his own pride to tell you the truth

God's loving kindness endures forever
That sounds sweet...
...and it IS
Which does not mean He'll just silently agree with everything or that your sins don't have any consequenses.and say nothing when you do wrong, but
out of love
out of His kindness
out of His desire to interfere with your daily life
out of His passion for you

He'll convict you of sins, so that you're able to come closer to Him
He'll teach you what way to walk, so you won't go wrong
He'll get you through rough times and hold your hand when you're crying
He'll let you know He IS YOUR HELPER Who is there

Summer TIME

2006-07-05T00:58:00.000+02:00

TIME
I took time to rest last weekend. Hung out with my housemate on the balcony for about the whole saturday...
Went on a boat trip on sunday right after the service...
Man, it felt like having an extra long weekend... how two days of just doing nothing-at-all can make one so relaxed as I was.

I'm compensating all that rest now, by staying up late
In my room, where all the summer-heat from the past days is stored up (so it seems)
It feels like a sauna.
Some people pay lot's of money to experience the sauna effect... I have it here... in Zeist...

- Germany lost from Italy with football :-(
I'm actually sad about that...

...and over it :-)

- We prepared a salade meal today, and as soon as we finished we went outside with all the food to sit down in the shade on a grassfield near our house... and just eat there.
Though I know the sun can melt my brains like crazy, these are the things I enjoy SO MUCH about the summer. :-)

EO

2006-06-15T23:11:00.000+02:00

Next SaturDay is the "EO Jongerendag"
As far as I know, this is the largest youth-event in the Netherlands.
Frank Pot invited me to join in prayer on that day...
...So I gladly accepted that invitation :-) I've never been there but when I didn't believe in Jesus YET, I watched it on television once and cried.
I just love it, that I got the oppurtunity to serve all these 30.000 young people in prayer next saturday.

More news: I have my TICKET! MINNESOTA HERE I COME!!!

More news: Last Saturday we celebrated my best friends bachelor-party (She's in the boat on the right) she'll marry next week!!!
--- her friends are from church, school, study, housemember, etc

It was really nice to experience that all of us girls could get along very well! We had so much fun planning the whole day...

The city Utrecht is beautiful from a row-boat :-)

When you're tired and you are thirsty...

2006-06-11T22:58:00.000+02:00

Since I'm trying the best I can to be the best starter they ever had,
my social contacts have come to a pitiable zero-level.
And so have my urge to write entries...

BUT, I have some pictures from last Saturday,
It was Samuela's bachelor party (can you believe she's going to marry next week!!!!
The weather was great... we spend like 6 hours in those two rowing-boats,
It was VERY nice to see Utrecht from rowing throug a canal, instead of cycling...
Anyway,
I believe Samuela had a great day (and that's what it was about) To me it was great to experience that, though Samuela's friends are all related to her in a different way (some from church, some from study, a housemate, etc) and we all get along very well...

I have some embarassing pictures as wel.(Spijkerpoepen enzo).. but they'll be shown later I guess...

MORE NEWS:
I have my ticket to minnesota!!!!!!!!!!!! :-)
I'm actually going there... I'm so exited!

I'm invited to help with the EO-jongerendag next saturday.
To pray for about 4 hours. I'll be praying while walking throught the crowd and/or with a group apart from the festive things going on. I've never been to the EO-jongerendag, so I'm exited to go there... and finally experience it (for free) and to be able to support all the teenagers there in prayer.

Another thing...
I have difficulties using my time wisely... it's tiring me. So if you're reading this... please pray for that briefly... (even if you don't know how to)

Book

2006-06-09T07:39:00.000+02:00

This week... my boss confirmed I was allowed to have three weeks holiday in August.
The same afternoon I made reservations for the ticket...
First asked if there wás actually still place for me on that school, or else it would be no use buying a ticket at all...
So I JUST received that confirmation; they considered me "encountered". :-)

I'll just have to go to the travelagency and pay for the ticket... and then it's settled
Sweetness!

Rest it iS

2006-06-04T20:18:00.000+02:00

I'm now (again) watching my dad's cat for one night and one day...
It's amazing how much 'nothing' you can do on a sunday evening with no one around...
Tomorrow I'll have to force myself to study...
But there's a time to work and a time to rest... and rest it is!

(moment... tea is ready)

Nice

Enfin
I've decided to put all my energy into this new job... for those who know what I'm talking about: I've had minimum training in C#, and now it seems I'll need to learn ASP.NET as fast as I can to do the tasks they gave me at my job. So I know where to spend my time with :-)
Striking how all this this gets me in my "old" rhythm of staying up late and waking up too early and drinking too much coffee...

For those who wonder...
I haven't received any reply on my request for a holiday,
and I'm not planning on buying a ticket before I get a positive reply on that...
To be continued

You'll love this link one of my colleagues emailed me friday: SCRAT-ISH

Does God Spoil His Children?

2006-05-29T21:29:00.000+02:00

It was my birthday last Wednesday... I celebrated it on Thursday...
And both days were like one big party.
I finally have a digital camera... so I can share some pictures
As you can see... it was quite crowded...

There were friends from my study,

friends from church

family members :-D
friends from Sliedrecht
(The village I was bourne and raised... up to a certain level ;-)

I was really happy having everyone there
Some people brought all kinds of pastry (SWEETNESS!!)

But I think the most fun part was my housemates waking me up at my real birthday with a complete breakfast (Lord knows I love breakfast) and singing...
And when I came home from work, my best friend was allready there preparing a surprise - dinner for me...

THANK YOU ALL for thinking of me!!

So Yeah...
I do believe God likes to spoil his children... ánd pastry =)

How was your weekend?

2006-05-21T21:08:00.000+02:00

The past week has been really good but tiring. It was good, because I got a good picture of this company that I’ll work for. I got to meet a lot of people and heard a lot of stories.
I like that.
I also believe that the department that I work is the nicest one :-D So that is a nice conclusion isn’t it.

But it was intense as well. Even my weekend had a shortage of rest to let all this new impressions sink in.
As a result, it’s now nine o’clock in the evening, and I’ll just go to bed.

Yesterday was nice:
me and a girl I know from Summer School went shopping. Afterwards we had diner with her and her family (brother and parents). I had a great time.
Anyway… after diner… we took some time to take some pictures… for no reason… and this one kept making us laugh whenever we looked at it.
So I hope it’ll make your day as well

Indeterminate

2006-05-15T21:32:00.000+02:00

This was the word that just popped up when I thought of a suitable title for this entry
It's going to be a small one...

I just want the 'world' - those reading my blog - to know how my first official workingday went.
Indeterminate is the word.
I'm not looking up to tomorrow, as if that's going to be a dreadful day, so that is really positive!

They welcomed me, and had a complete scedule for the two weeks to come - so that I'd get to know all the relevant departments of this company, and get to know the general workflow. That will help me to understand what the core business is, and to support the business with the systems. It will also give me a chance to meet colleagues.
The bitter part is, that I'll have to get through 8 days of just archiving all this information in my head (and noteblock) and read through company documents. So that's why I'm not spontaneously shouting hallelujah either.

I'll let you all know

Training

2006-05-08T21:20:00.000+02:00

Jup... This is my last week of training... I'll start my 'real new job' nex Thursday or Friday...
that's not all very clear yet,
neither do I really know what tasks I will get when I start... but I'll keep you all updated...

I enjoyed a week off last week. Visited some SoulSurvivor days, (Wednesday about 20 people got babtised at Strand Nulde!!! (location of Soulsurvivor festival)
Anyway... Though emotionally it wasn't all halleluja and happy and clappy... I DID enjoy this babtise-service and it has been great just to see lot's of people that I usually don't get a chance to talk to really.

Last saturday was just really really good for me to be in Rotterdam again. We had to wait for our Kebab a bit to long, but that gave Henrike and I a chance to talk a bit, so I enjoyed that.
Summer School is on for this Summer!!!
JEEE
But
If everything goes allright, than I'm not going to be there, because I decided to go to Minnesota in August. Ain't that something :-)
Just love the idea.
No details yet, but those of you who are interested: check out www.benisrael.org and look at the link on the left below - prophetic school.... that's why I'm going there.

'Sweetness

A woman has to know her limitations

2006-05-02T12:03:00.000+02:00

Haven’t felt so feminine since a while.

I’m now reading a book titled “not alone, but single”.
Reading it, is like reading a magazine. This book is written by a 30 year young woman who happens to be single and shares her experiences (positive or negative) and how she handles being single in her relationship with God. She’s really honest in that. Married couple will be shocked reading it. But to us (me and my housemates) it’s still very recognizable.
We try to make it a habit to read a chapter out loud every now and then. Yesterday after diner, one of us read a chapter about fixing things in the house (as a single). How we (single women) can feel very handicapped in that area.

And then it happened…
about 3am…
I woke up...
because the board ground -
don’t know the word… but see this picture
managed to slip out of the bed frame - board by board.
I tried ignoring it, but that only worked until half of the boards reached the floor.
3am, half asleep, I sat down next to my bed, a mattress leaning on my head while I was trying to fix this.
So today I thought I’d fix that problem. Right away. As one should.
As I was halfway fixing it… I understood this was NOT going to be a solution.
Everything within me cried: Every one has his talents… this is not yours J

My conclusion now is… to leave it as it was. I’ve been able to sleep on it without any problem for a month now, having to muddle at these boards once every month is acceptable price to pay. So my renewed plans for this afternoon:

- Make another coffee
- Go shopping
- Clean my room
- Go to the evening service of the soul survivor festival to get my frustrations out

That is what I’m good at.

Tab tab tab shift tab

2006-04-29T10:51:00.000+02:00

Ain't this a party
Celebrating the Queens birthday today... by eh, taking my mom to the airport on 4 am,
and spending the rest of this morning too awakened to sleep again... and to cold to want to go outside.
It's been a while since I've posted, my mouse refused to work... so I can only use my keyboard... Tab-bing and Ctrl-ing
- not really encouraging me to use the internet...
But I DO want to share this

Tuesday evening I went to Rotterdam... Art Katz was speaking there.
They'd start at 7pm. Due to circumstances I could not make it 7pm.
I was so NOT at rest once I knew I couldn't make it on time, because I desperately wanted to be there
And I HATE being late...

Every ten minutes I was thinking: Ohw no, I won't make it on time...
Followed by a quick prayer: Lord, excuse me for worrying
Followed by His brief answer: Don't worry

Once I arrived together with my mom (who was as 'at ease' as I was worried)
at 8pm (an hour later!) They were just about to start the evening.
I didn't miss anything!!! As God said :"Don't worry"

As was to be expected, the sermon was good. Not quite a "let's get my ears tickled"-sermon,
And I cannot really give words to what i've heard that evening, but everything within me said it was true.
The LORD WILL JUDGE us all one day,
IN HIS LOVE, he judges...
And He is NOT PLEASED with SIN!
There IS something like the end-of-times, and
We should really understand what exactly it is that He saved us from.
This reality is more real than anything else. We should LIVE in God's reality instead of flirting with the world

I also enjoyed seeing Jayne there! And other familiar faces again. Somehow I really feel at home everytime I'm there.
Jayne told me there'd be another summerSchool this year... that would be great!
Though I'm thinking about going to Minnesota this summer... God willing...
I'd be fine to NOT go there, but I think it would be a great oprtunity.
So if that's what I should do this summer, than I'm not sure if I can combine that with going to summer school

Anyway, please pray for people who are involved in arranging the Summer School!

This is what I wanted to share...
Ladies and Gentlemen,
It's a new day
faced with 5 hours of sleep in a noisy Zeist
I'm going to face the supermarket and people dressed in orange now...

Longing for FOOD

2006-04-21T20:50:00.000+02:00

Three pictures to illustrate the Sinai desert.
As far as I know, that is the desert where Moses exercised his patience. First he was called... but couldn't do the job yet... then he was a shepherd for 40 years... and than God told him to go to the Pharaoh to ask him to release Gods people. The Pharaoh had the authority to take Moses as a slave for the rest of his life.
Personally I wouldn't dream of a ministry like this. But God said (loose translation): Moses maybe you are not able, but I Am, so don't worry.

Anyway...
to make a long story short...
Gods people were slaves in Egypt... and they cried for years to be delivered.
Finally God managed to lead his people out of Egypt. Making way through a sea... and all that.
His people were delivered!
NEVER TO BE A SLAVE AGAIN
Isn't that amazing!
If that wasn't enough... God wanted His people to enjoy Him in a land He prepared for them... And He was determent to lead them there. Using Moses to do so.

God took care of them; He provided food from heaven, even made water spring out of a rock to drink them, He made sure their clothes would grow with them...
And the most beautiful thing is: He was with them! His presence all day long!

It must have been the weirders thing, to go around in the desert with Gods people though the desert... for 40 years with so sign of that promised land or whatsoever.

As I was preparing myself a very nice salad this evening... with fresh parmasan cheese, tomato, fresh olives - I could even imagine people'd start to long for Egypt again. God fed them every day! But it was no "haute cuisine". It was manna.
Instead of clinging to the promise of the promised land with milk and honey (illustrating good FOOD)... they longed for Egypt's food - flesh.
They forgot they were enslaved in Egypt, they forgot they were tired, unhappy and miserable there, but walking around in a desert for years can make one less picky.

Anyway
God was with them... they were out of bondage - free - experiencing Gods provision , goodness and presence...
Yet walking through the desert for years. I can imagine this was not the most thrilling way of spending your youth.
And it struck me, how I was longing for my own Egypt.
I stepped into freedom with God a few years ago.
Enjoying His presence, His care, His provision, His love -
But if that means I'll be in some kind of desert for years... because He has got something better for me in mind...
While the whole world is going after thrilling experiences, theaters, performance,
will I be satisfied just being in His presence, even if that means I won't have a great ministry, perform, develop my skills, for years.

My point... ?

There's something about food and biblical theme's;
God loved Daniel when he choose not to eat from the Kings table, because he had a covenant with his God.
The goodness of the promised land is illustrated by food (milk and honey)
Heaven is illustrated by a festive wedding - meal - sigh - can't wait to enjoy that one!

Liesje bij Loesje

2006-04-14T20:24:00.000+02:00

This is her:
Loesje
The cat
(And a smiling dad holding her...)
I've been looking after this animal since sunday-evening

Yeah Yeah... she's beautiful and all
When she shifts to "crazy-mood" on an unexpected moment, she tends to scratch whomever...
And I happen to be around... (sour smile here)
She also managed to wake me up in the middle of the night by playing with pieces of dust or something undefinable like it)

But... what can I say
I actually like her
she's funny and sweet... and a bit crazy

Besides that... I enjoy having this week in another environment... lots of quiet-time
More constructive news coming up...

Control - or - Freak?!

2006-04-05T21:31:00.000+02:00

I guess I still want to explain to you all, why the Bible is more than just a book.

Consider the story of the two fellows examining the uniquely-designed, high-powered machine.
As they look, they know it holds great potential TO EITHER BENEFIT OR DESTROY THEIR LIVES – AS WELL AS OTHERS.
“Whew!” says young Chip, “This machine is dy-na-mite! Start it up NOW”
“Hang on,” Gary cautions, “First let’s get the scoop on how it operates.”
“Where do we look?” Chip asks.
“In the manufacturer’s handbook - where else?” After all, it’s written by the guy who designed the machine. If anyone ought to know about its operation, it’d be him.
Spending a few minutes studying it, young Chip gets impatient and says: “Look at all those dumb rules and regulations. That designer’s trying to ruin all our fun. Scrap it! Let’s just do it the way we feel.”
“Are you kidding?!” retorts Gary, “THE DESIGNER IS NOT AGAINST US. He just wants us to learn how to control this thing for maximum use.”
“Are you sure?”
“Of course! Why’d you think he designed this thing in the first place – to make our lives miserable or more ENJOYABLE?”
Young Chip sulks a bit and then lifts his eyes, “Gary, are you sure we should do it his way and not the way we feel?”
“Shhhh! Let’s get back to studying the handbook so we do everything right. If we do, we’ll keep things under control and GET THE MOST OUT OF THIS THING.”

So the Bible is not like some Christmas gift God gave us, to have a life filled with some real boring lectures and sermons… but He gives it so that we would enjoy Live, and KNOW HOW TO GET THE MOST OUT OF IT.

When I don't know what my purpose in life is... I check in my Creators/Designers Manual; Bible. For my Designer knows best what He made me for, why He created me. NO OTHER RELIGIOUS STANDARD can point that out for you. I don't care how spiritual some religions may appear... It was God who created you and you need to seek your Creator to know HOW TO LIVE YOUR LIFE TO THE MAX!
To be free! To feel loved, To be able to help, To have joy more than any party/drug/relationship could give you.

This is eternal life… that we KNOW JESUS. And Who is Jesus?
Jesus is the Son of God. He is God's deity in bodily form. Jesus is the Life, He is the Word of God. The Bible is the Word of God.
If I want to live life to the max, I need to know Jesus. How can I do that… by reading AND obeying whatever He says. How do I know what God says? By reading the Bible. :-)

Quoted this from the book “Straightforward” by Larry Tomczak. A book I’m now reading for the second time, I will be reading it more often.

Because Dutch Spings are rainy as they are...

2006-03-30T19:22:00.000+02:00

This,

This is why I arranged to be in Den Haag (The Hague) on Thursday last week.

My dad took these two pictures.
It was spring... and how could I NOT go there.
I know, I know... all over the world you'll find beautiful hills and fields filled with flowers...
But somehow for me, this is my ultimate spring-picture.
Flowers in the centre of Den Haag.

mmm
Sigh

(Because these days are... rainy, let this remind you all of the few sunny day's we DID have during the first week of spring last week.)

Spring

2006-03-25T21:14:00.000+01:00

"Some may say,
Birds sing to attract another bird to mate with, or to mark their territory.

I'd say
Birds firstly sing to praise their Creator.
That they, by doing so, happen to attract a bird to mate with is just so much to the good."

- Herman Finkers

This statement came into my thoughts today, as I was enjoying a blackbird singing and thought about this new season. How much I enjoy Springtime and what the Bible sais:
That we sould seek to love, think of, enjoy and praise the Lord first,
and that He than will just give us the things our hearts long for and the things we need. (this includes practical things like food and clothing)
I could babble on about it, but believe the words are clear.

The essence of the Ascension

2006-03-21T22:42:00.000+01:00

“The issue of the church is the issue of the Glory of God.

It’s not a church – fetish I’m in,
But a hunger to glorify Him, to know His will and to be His will.”

Sermon "Ascend" Bob Gladstone

I downloaded this sermon from Bob Gladstone on fireonthealtar.com about the ascension of Jesus.
Because the sermon lasted like 70 minutes, I wasn’t able to hear all of it attentively. Even not after three times. But somehow I knew this message was very important.
So this morning I listened to it again (persistent I know). And though I wasn’t able to listen to the whole sermon all at once, I DID get some of it. I'll summarize it:

Two parts of the bible are very clear about the power of the ascension. Jesus was wounded and tortured terribly to take away our sickness, He died a horrible death on the cross to pay for our sins, He rose from the grave to save our souls. He has overcome death. He is risen and He was able to save the ones He loves (every living creature on this earth).
We ARE saved and the relationship with the Heavenly Father has been restored. The veil was teared. When He died He said: “It is finished”
He had done his job. Why is it then, that He couldn’t just stay with us to enjoy our company? So why then, did He ascend?

Two scriptures are very clear on that.

Ephesians 3:21 - 4:16 (4:8)
When He ascended on high,
He led captives in His train and GAVE GIFTS to men.

The church needs more than salvation only, they need gifst to be able to individually and corporately Glorify God and represent God as it is explained in this chapter of Ephesians. He knew the church needed His gifst, and His Holy Spirit.

John 20:11-17
Stop clinging to me!
Because I have not yet returned to the Father.

He is stopping a worshipper from worshipping. Why? He knew He had to ascend first. Why?

Acts 1:5 + 8
To be able to baptize us with the Holy Spirit.

The Bible sais clearly that we need to be babtised in both water AND Spirit.
It was essential in order to give us POWER (to serve this nation with power) by the Holy Spirit. We needed the ascension in order to be witnesses to the ends of the earth.

Well... I couldn't help sharing this. It may not be really practical YET, but It's been on my mind since friday and I just know it's an important issue.

Preparing the works

2006-03-21T22:41:00.000+01:00

My contract is lying in front of me
ready to be signed.

Before I had my final conversation last monday, I briefly told the Lord I'd like to have a few days off, before I start.
One of the first things that came to pass, was that both parties talked about my training and agreed that it would be best if I took a few days off and start monday instead of immediately.
I didn't need to ask.

Sweet to experience how God is going out in front of me to prepare the works and to equip me for every GOOD job.

The language they will teach me will be C#, which was what I was hoping for.
So what can I say
The new season has started... in every way
:-D

Sweetness

2006-03-17T21:29:00.000+01:00

This morning I woke up smiling with this one thought:

It's nearly spring!

I kept this smile on my face for the rest of the day.
Sweetness.

At lunchtime Marjo, David and Dan came to Zeist to have lunch. We went to the restaurant where I live next to. The greek salad was good. But... to lift this lunch to a higher level, we went off to buy chocolat-truffle-pastry.
again... sweetness is the word.
Seriously, It was such a privilege to have them. It was fun.
To me it was really encouraging...
Hope the rest was blessed as well.

It was also fun to know that next monday will be my last day at work. At the end of monday, I will go to my new employer to go into the training-scedule and to sign the contract.
With the official start of spring... my personal new (job-)season will start.

30,000 !!!

2006-03-10T23:25:00.000+01:00

In the year 2004 29,094 unbourne children have been aborted in the Netherlands. Think about it... nearly 30,000 children who just aren't there anymore!!!
- numbers are from an article on the soulsista website.

Ladies and gentleman...
This country is sick... by assuming a child will have no future... not even giving the child a start.

I don't want to judge women here, who just never knew there was actually a Way.
I'm just so mad at the fact that the government never promotes an alternative. Or - better said - THE WAY.
I'm mad at the enemy that he has been able to twist the view of so many young people today.

There IS hope, there IS a Way... God promises us, that He IS the LIVE, that He is ALL about LIFE and that when life get's tough, His thoughts are thoughts of peace and of hope to give us a hopeful future! He is THE living Hope for this (literally and spiritually) dying soceity.

THE FOLLOWING LINKS SHOW PICTURES. IT'S ACTUALLY REALLY GOOD TO SEE WHAT ACTUALLY HAPPENS, BUT PLEASE BE CAREFUL TO WATCH THEM IF YOU'RE TOO YOUNG OR FOR WHATEVER REASON KNOW YOU SHOULDN'T SEE THEM.

Picture of a anti-abotion poster
Picture of an aborted baby 22!!! weeks
I don't even know what this is
A website with more pictures

?

2006-03-10T15:47:00.000+01:00

But I still don't know the answer to this day

- k's choice

Study and Work

2006-03-09T22:32:00.000+01:00

I still work 9 till 5 at some office near my place… “financial advise for mortgages”. But today I had a job-interview.
The interview went totally wrong.
A bit absurd; I was so nervous that I presented myself totally insecure and doubting my choice. While in fact I wanted this job and knew I’d be good at it too.
Strangely enough… this guy who was leading the interview concluded he wanted me to work there. I was surprised, relieved and glad!
The people were nice and (praise God) not too formal, the building is beautiful with a great view on Zeist. And the job… as far as I can judge it… is about as good as it gets!
But I’ll get back on this… because I’m not in a hurray-mood until I actually sign that contract.

Also…
Last weekend I was finally able to visit the youth group of our church. I actually offered to share something about “reading the Bible”, because that is on my heart to share.
I prepared the whole thing the week before, and I wasn’t really so sure about the whole idea. I never read the bible so poorly as last week (actually a confirmation to me that this message was really important). Happily, I got two real constructive confirmations… all together concluded it was good to share something about it.
But when It was my turn to talk I kind of lost it.

Maybe this is the theme of this week. It’s getting all exited but when the moment is there, I loose words to express what is inside. –

And afterwards I started to doubt, if God really wants me to teach. But I know He does. And I know He promised me that I WILL BE ABLE TO DO IT.

While I’m concerned about how I’m going to tell my colleagues, that I want to quit this job ASAP, a lot of things are happening around me; At the most hectic point of the day, my colleague starts asking me how I started believing in Jesus. My best friend is getting married… a lot of things are going on in my family (both my mothers as my fathers side)
I won’t go into details, but It’s just great to open your eyes for the things that are going on. Because in this case the following quote is very suitable to me nowadays: - Life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans.

DREAMS

2006-03-06T22:31:00.000+01:00

With His Spirit within me,
I could put my own dreams and visions aside, and live for the revelation and fulfillment of His.

- Art Katz

JOY!!!

2006-03-05T14:26:00.000+01:00

MY BEST FRIEND IS ENGAGED!

It was just a matter of time. But there it was... finally... He asked her to marry him last friday.
She told me this morning... and I never thought I'd get emotional receiving news like that, but I did. cheezy huh?!

I'm so happy about this.
JOY is an understatement in this case!!!

Cow am I doing?!

2006-03-01T22:20:00.000+01:00

I'm sorry,

This is kind of a Dutch word-joke I'm trying to visu-elise here.

Couldn't help working it out in photoshop.

Cubism turned into Cow-bism... but in Dutch it's more fun.
However... this blog is like the best way I could share this.
I think, for ten minutes effort, it worked out quite well.

Count your blessings

2006-02-25T12:38:00.000+01:00

I don't know if I could call it a blessing...

But internet is finally working on my computer!
I'm quite happy with that.
Finally able to download from fireonthealter.com and look for guitar chords every now and then.
(And to keep this blog updated during the week.)

Also,
A job is being offered to me last monday.
It's not only just a job, but education as well.
It's www.ttp.nl . They will look for a suitable company to place me, and they will teach me the techniques that are needed there. This will be like a follow-up of the study that I graduated from in October. It will cost me energy and time (two years at least) It's like a new practical study, but instead of paying for it, I get payed.

I prayed before I went to ttp last monday, to talk about this job and to make all kinds of tests. (they tested my personality, and if my brain is smart enough to pick up the techniques). I prayed: "Lord, if this is not something I should do, I beg You to shut every door, so that it will be clear that I shouldn't do this". Instead, the door opened. So I feel quite sure to take this opurtunity.

So yeah... they'll transform me into a nerd this year. ;-)
I'm quite exited.

Straightforward

2006-02-12T22:36:00.000+01:00

It been a tiring week.
I'm not going into details, I'm just tired that's all. With that doubting if working 40 hours a week is actually good for me.
Any way, it also gives less time to share stuff on my blog. The following passage from a book I've been reading is so good, that I've been waiting to share it for weeks. So now is the time.

It's about the following situation...
Christians talk about "making a choice to believe in Christ Jesus" Now the question is... why should we choose?! if God desires our love so much, than why wouldn't He just "make us love Him".

Why does He leave the choice to me? WHy doesn't He just force people to come under His Lordship?

If I had the power of hypnotism and a little son, I could put him into a hypnotic state, thus robbing him of the power of intelligent choice. Then I could say: "Kiss me good night" and unfeeling arms would go around my neck, and unresponsive lips would be pressed to mine. I would have prompt and perfect obedience to my every command, but would I find SATISFACTION? NO!
I want a son with a free will who is capable of disobeying me, but who willingly chooses to carry out my instructions, which are the outcome of my love for him and are given for his own good.
[...]
Jesus does not want puppets who jump in a given direction according to the wire that is pulled, nor does He want robots in the form of men who mechanically and absolutely obey His will as do the planets that whirl through space.
The Bible tells us: "Love does not demand its own way" (1 cor 13:5). And since God is love, He can find satisfaction in nothing less than the spontaneous love of our hearts and our freewill decesions to walk in paths that please and honor Him.

[...]
Jesus didn't save us to plop us down in the back pew of a church building, with our chins sagging to the floor, while we sing "Just as I am"and remain "Just as I was".
We serve a liberating smiling Savior, Who began His "Sermon on the mount" - the distilled essence of His Kingdom teaching - by telling us NINE times the result of heeding His words: Blessed are the . . . blessed . . . blessed (meaning: To be sol full of joy as to be envied)

"Straightforward Why wait till marriage" Larry Tomczak

Work

2006-02-04T23:48:00.000+01:00

I found a job!!!

it's in finances... far from what I was looking for myself... but well... sometimes things don't go as you expect.
And I actually think I'm going to enjoy this job.
But... first survive this first week...
and then I will know If my colleagues still want me there, and If I still want myself there

But glory! I have a job!
two minutes walking from where I live!
God is taking care of me...
with or without a job

Small insights

2006-01-26T14:49:00.000+01:00

Corianne, you were right... what is it with me?! Especially when looking for a proper job.... things like this are so tempting to “waste” my time with...

1.WHAT TIME DID YOU GET UP THIS MORNING? 6:30, my dad woke up at 6:00 but that’s too early for me. So I woke up at 6:30 because I wanted to have breakfast together.

2. DIAMONDS OR PEARLS? Pearls

3. WHAT WAS THE LAST FILM YOU SAW AT THE CINEMA? Narnia, The lion, the witch, and the wardrobe. I wish it was “March of the penguins” though.

4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE T. V. SHOW? Documentaries about peoples lives (job, house, ...), “the making of” any animation, programs about interior design, about food, ER, Gilmore Girls.

5. WHAT DID YOU HAVE FOR BREAKFAST? Fresh juice, fresh strong cup of coffee with boiled milk, two jelly sandwiches.

6. WHAT IS YOUR MIDDLE NAME? none

7. FAVORITE CUISINE? Dutch, Indonesian, English desserts

8. WHAT FOODS DO YOU DISLIKE? Chicory (witlof)

9. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CHIP FLAVOR? Salt&vinegar or natural

10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CD AT THE MOMENT? Never have one favorite

11.KIND OF CAR DO YOU DRIVE? In my dreams?

12. FAVORITE SANDWICH? Cheese&Tomato and/or Tuna

13. WHAT CHARACTERISTICS DO YOU DESPISE? Insensitive, unaccommodating

14. WHAT CHARACTERISTICS DO YOU LOVE MOST? Attentive, creative, humor.

15. FAVORITE ITEM OF CLOTHING? SOCKS!!!

16. IF YOU COULD GO ANYWHERE IN THE WORLD ON VACATION, WHERE WOULD YOU GO? Rome, Russia, Germany, Suriname...

17. WHAT COLOR IS YOUR BATHROOM? White-ish

18. FAVORITE BRAND OF CLOTHING? Only

19. TO WHERE WOULD YOU RETIRE? I wouldn’t... Netherlands

20. WHAT WAS YOUR MOST MEMORABLE BIRTHDAY? My last two birthdays because these are most recent. And I can remember lot’s of nice birthday-things from primary school (thanx to my mums creativity).

21. FAVORITE SPORT TO WATCH? Ice skating (long distances)

22. FURTHEST PLACE YOU ARE SENDING THIS? Rijswijk

23. WHO DO YOU LEAST EXPECT TO SEND THIS BACK? Someone I’m not sending it to.

24. PERSON YOU EXPECT TO SEND IT BACK FIRST? I’m not sending this, am I? It’s just on my blog

25. WHEN IS YOUR BIRTHDAY? May 24

26. WHEN IS YOUR ANNIVERSARY? Let me think...

27. ARE YOU A MORNING PERSON OR A NIGHT PERSON? Mornings. I love having breakfast, especially in company!

28. WHERE IS #28?

29. PETS: If I was forced to have one, I’d choose a cat; a red fat cat

30. DO YOU HAVE ANY NEWS THAT YOU WOULD LIKE TO SHARE WITH US?

31. WHAT DID YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU WERE LITTLE? Singer, Fireman (woman), geography teacher, working in a jouth-detention centre.

32. HOW ARE YOU TODAY? I’m enjoying my day. Feeling quite guilty about writing this while I actually have to apply for a job, and prepare this phonecall to a company I’d like to work for.

33. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CANDY? Cookies! And dark chocolat

34. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE FLOWER? tulip

35. WHAT IS A DATE ON THE CALENDAR YOU ARE LOOKING FORWARD TO? Today (wonder what I’ll do next) next Saturday (diner with friends) The day they deliver my new computer!!! The day I’ve learned how to be efficient in job applications.

36. FURTHEST YOU'VE BEEN FROM HOME? L.A.

37. NAME A SMALL THING YOU REALLY ENJOY? Waking up smiling on a free saturdaymorning

Steve, you’re tagged

Prayers requested ;-)

2006-01-23T14:45:00.000+01:00

New BLOG http://requestsandtestimonies.blogspot.com/,
as it sais, it's all about posting prayer requests and testimonies about answered prayers. You can find more background information About this new blog here.

Please visit every once in a while to see that prayer DOES work! That God is a God of miracles. THat God CARES about us.

Christian reading this, please read this new blog frequently and pray with us.
If you don't know how to pray, because you don't really know Jesus... then please read it, to see what God can do.
If you want all of us to pray for you, email your request, and I can post it.

TASTE AND SEE...

2006-01-23T10:38:00.000+01:00

...HOW THE LORD TAKES CARE OF ME :-D

No, I haven't found a job YET, BUT I know the Lord will provide. Last week, instead of becoming more and more frustrated, I had such an encouraging weekend, that I just KNOW things will work out. (no pun intended)

Last week, I had lot's of time to spend with my housemates, which made it possible for me to get to know them better. Which meens a lot to me. Also, I started to get new creative ideas again... I felt like I've lost that "creative state of mind since January last year"... so yeah, these weeks are probably good to draw me back to where I'm good at.

Then, saturday, we had a "fire-meeting" in Ede (people I know from summer school, we meet about every month) It was good seeing everyone again!
I just know I'm lousy at hiding my feelings, I can't possibly look "happy&clappy" when I'm really feeling PRUT (a Dutch word I use for coffee grounds.
Thanx to bakingfreak and some other conversations I felt really really encouraged. I hope to have encouraged a few others as well... hehe...

Another thing that really struck me, was the following:
I'm busy looking for a new computer. One of my best friends helped me out looking for one. (thank you)
He advised me this&that, and than said I should buy the keyboard myself...
Yesterday I visited my niece (belated), and she said (out of the blue, I didn't mention anything about looking for a computer): "Elise, can you use a keyboard? Because I got one from a friend, but I can't use it."

Now the keyboards brand is "TRUST".
:-)
Somehow I thought... I should TRUST for the rest to be taken care of.
the keyboard is just a start,
I've got more great things to share... but maybe you can read that here

Teach me

2006-01-14T15:02:00.000+01:00

This is my third week without a job.
I actually told the employment office that I'd even clean toilets. But even offering that, did not get me a job. It's not that I'd be actually happy to do clean toilets, but I have the tendency to try to proove myself. Like I only deserve a proper job if I'm willing to clean toilets. It's crazy I know, but that's how my mind works sometimes.
Luckily I'm unable to proove myself having no job at all. So that's one step in the good direction. =)

Anyway,
Last Tuesday was the first evening of a weekly bible-study in Zeist, that I will follow. I try to get to know the people from this church by doing that, but I'm so exited about the teachers. I LOVE my current church, but I've always longed to be a part of a church where some good teachers are able to really OPEN the Bible for me, and now a few (Dutch!) teachers will be there on Tuesdays five minutes walking from where I live. Isn't that just great!

A friend stayed over this weekend. She is about to start her second year in bible college in Sidney. As I asked her to share what she learned, we started talking about our thoughts about the church, and how much things need to be done. And also about teaching.
I'd love to pump some biblical truth about holiness and purity in the Dutch schools and (especially) churches.
The Bible sais that if you want to teach, you'd better DO what you teach!
I just finished reading "The final Quest", and it all becomes clear to me that I should express God's love, rather than impressing people and building my own ego with empty bible-knowledge and being "lady smarty-pants".
This made me think...
...do I really want to teach, and will my motive really be "a love for the people"?!

I'm not really done thinking that through.
Just want everyone reading this, to think about your motives as well.

This soceity is about prestige, status, luxury, entertainment, self - self - self
The worst thing is... many (not all) churches are also more busy building ministries than expressing real love to people and helping them in any need, financially, physically, mentally, material, clothes, food...
Jesus died on the cross, so that we're able to meet the Most High God as a loving Father, to experience His love, and share it! He is not impressed by our knowledge, of things we can do for Him but by a heart that is committed to Him, loving Him, and loving the people He created.

So please, christian or non-christian...
know that there is a God Who, in this world of
entertainment - lies - adultery - sickness - hatery - hopelessness
longs nothing more than to offer you:
an enviable joy despite any circumstances - truth - faithfulness - healing - love - a hopeful future.

To add-it or not to add-it

2006-01-12T11:33:00.000+01:00

Oops... did I edit this post... did I?!

Thanks to bakingfreak

2006-01-03T12:54:00.000+01:00

I'm not sure if I agree with nr.3, nr.5 struck me though. Sigh... how I love making personalitytests like this...
Please also read the entry before...

Your #1 Match: ENFJ

The Giver
You strive to maintain harmony in relationships, and usually succeed.Articulate and enthusiastic, you are good at making personal connections.Sometimes you idealize relationships too much - and end up being let down.You find the most energy and comfort in social situations ... where you shine.
You would make a good writer, human resources director, or psychologist.

Your #2 Match: ENFP

The Inspirer
You love being around people, and you are deeply committed to your friends.You are also unconventional, irreverant, and unimpressed by authority and rules.Incredibly perceptive, you can usually sense if someone has hidden motives.You use lots of colorful language and expressions. You're qutie the storyteller!
You would make an excellent entrepreneur, politician, or journalist.

Your #3 Match: ENTJ

The Executive
You are a natural leader - with confidence and strength that inspires others.Driven to succeed, you are always looking for ways to gain, power, knowledge, and expertise.Sometimes you aren't the most considerate person, especially to those who are a bit slow.You are not easily intimidated - and you have a commanding, awe-inspiring presence.
You would make a great CEO, entrepreneur, or consultant.

Your #4 Match: ENTP

The Visionary
You are charming, outgoing, friendly. You make a good first impression.You possess good negotiating skills and can convince anyone of anything.Happy to be the center of attention, you love to tell stories and show off.You're very clever, but not disciplined enough to do well in structured environments.
You would make a great entrpreneur, marketing executive, or actor.

Your #5 Match: ESFJ

The Caregiver
You are sympathetic and caring, putting friends and family first.A creature of habit, you prefer routines and have trouble with change.You love being in groups - whether you're helping people or working on a project.You are good at listening, laughing, and bringing out the best in people.
You would make a great nurse, social worker, or teacher.

What's" Your Personality Type?

BLESSED NEW YEAR EVERYONE!!!

2006-01-03T12:15:00.000+01:00

New Years eve was fun!
A friend invited me to his "new-years-eve-and-good-bye-I'll-be-leaving-the-Netherlands-for-a-few-months-party"... Bagles, Brownies, Donuts, Muffins, Hotdogs...
Yummy yummy in the tummy!!

After midnight, we went outside and took a walk, to visit some familymembers. And as I was watching the firework, It struck me: ITS A NEW YEAR!
And I got so exited.
More than ever before...
Not because last year was all sad... but because I'm expecting so much!
Last year was beautiful and hectic. Lot's of changes, new people, new insights... sickness also... and preparations.

I expect 2006 to be a year of breakthrough (in my personal life, but I hope in the Netherlands as well), a year of healing and oppurtinities.

Sunday, first day of this new year, I went to a church in Zeist for the first time. To start my new year with looking for a new church to go to. Brother Andrew was there preaching (challenging as always, please pray for him!!!) And as I was doubting if I was actually in the right place... making the right choices, The pastor of this church came up with this "thought for the year 2006". And it was an amazing encouragement to me...:

"Grow (bloom) on the place where God planted you"

God planted me in Zeist... and it's like God said: you're in the right place. Just live and grow and bloom where you are.
Well... I will!

ALSO, what was really great,
In that church... I found myself a place and started singing along, looking around, checking out the place, observing the people... all of a sudden I recognised two faces... parents from a friend, I have been thinking about this family quite often. I went up to them, and we were all surprised and terribly happy to see eachother again (after 20 months or so). I suddenly realised how much I missed them as we hugged eachother, and I got tears of joy in my eyes. This was such an amazing start of 2006

Can't wait to see what God will do.

CHRISTmas

2005-12-27T11:26:00.000+01:00

Well,

My weekend has been good. spending time with all kinds of families. Christmaseve we celebrated with family, and also went to the church that my uncle&aunt go to... it was good to be there with the whole family.
Next day celebrated christmas in our own sudnaymorning-meeting. afternoon went to celebrate with another family...
Yesterday went to the beach... how good to smell the salty air, and have the sun shining on your face, even though it's december.
I missed a day like that.
Also finally had time to read my book...
So yeah, I enjoyed it.

FOr those praying for me, I have to trust God on bringing me something new... I'll visit a church in Zeist next sunday, to see if that could become my new local church.
ALSO, I need a job to start with in the new year. I can't possibly stay unemployed as I'm now and pay my rent. Today I'm writing a letter of application...
Until then, hope not to end up cleaning bathrooms. (Feel like I passed that season in my life.)
No seriously, I sense that next year is a year to step out in my talents... but until that moment have to wait on the Lord.
(Which is far from being passive)
I'm scared and exited at the same time.

MIRACLE

2005-12-27T11:05:00.000+01:00

This morning, as I was slowly starting my day...
I thought about how miraculous and wonderful God is:

Men can sow seeds and water the small plants,
But no man can make a plant grow...
This miracle of growth shows how miraculous Gods is!

I can eat enough vegetables and fruit in order to keep myself healthy, but it's God who keeps me alive, without Him there is no life or healing.

The earth has no mind of itsself, so that it could think... "you know what... I'll find some nice way to move around the sun"
No, it's God Who holds the whole universe together, and Who gives sunlight to everyone (whether they believe in Him or not).

Why do people blame God for things the devil does?

2005-12-18T14:33:00.000+01:00

Why do people blame God for things the devil does?

(fierycanadian.blogspot.com)

Insight

2005-12-14T16:58:00.000+01:00

Thanks to Steve,
I have another practical list to give you readers some Insight...

Seven things to do before I die
1. Start a bible school (not on my own) or join one
2. Marry
3. Stop being affraid of spiders
4. Have the nerve to show paintings I've made/ small documents I've written
5. Somehow answer God's calling on my life... which probably consists of stepping into the round of education, educate teenagers
6. uhmm... love and honour my parents and friends
7. Eat the best brownie ever...

Seven things I cannot do
1. eat chicory (witlof) and like it
2. see someone indifferently throwing an empty can on the street and NOT get mad
3. perform gymnastics.... ski
4. loose my (day-)dreams
5. ignore emotions (mine or others)
6. I'm not capable of doing things quick
7. I can do all things through Christ Who strengthens me... I know... lack of inspiration

Things that attract me to the opposite gender.
1. Humor.. and "laughing eyes" that go with it
2. When he is totally sold out for Jesus
3. Being someone who sees me
4. Looks
5. Values the so called small things in life
6. Enthousiasm
7. A heart/calling for young people in the Netherlands

Seven things I say most often
1. Grutten
2. Glorie
3. Ehm
4. echt
5. zo ... sow
6. Hey
7. ME EH!

Seven books (or authors) I love
1. Bible
2. Kiss dating goodbye, Joshua Harris
3. De Roeping, Anne vd Bijl (The Calling, br. Andrew)
4. Facedown, Matt Redman
5. Traightforward, Larry Tomczak
6. De strijd om je hart...
7. Now reading "Burning Desire" (is a good one!)

Seven movies I would watch over and over again.
1. sorry... need to catch a train now...
2. Amelie
3. Pride&Prejudice (I think, I only saw it once)
4. Close Shave, Wallace&Gromit
5. Pixar animations... any
6. ...
7. I don't know... I like good-ending, predictable movies. Animations, or cultural ones. But wouldn't watch them over and over again

Seven CD's I couldn't part with
1. One Day Passion
2. Face down (Matt Redman)
3. Soulsurvivor cd's... not one in particular
4. Cocoon Crash (K's Choice)
5. Naar Huis (Acda & De Munnik)
6. ...
7. ... my own guitar

Seven (out of a million) favorite worship songs/hymns

1. no real number one in this case
2. I could sing of Your love forever
3. Open the eyes of my heart
4. Majesty
5. Wees mijn verlangen (forgot the original English title) Be thou my vision or something?
6. Holy Holy (Tim Hughes has a real good version of that one)
7. Nothing in this world (Tim Hughes)

Seven people I want to join in, too:

5 will do:
1. Deborazonderh
2. Michiel Haagen
3. Sam
4. My housemates

I'm Alive and... sleepy

2005-12-12T17:38:00.000+01:00

=)

Yesterday we had a little bithday-party going on... it was a bit after midnight until my right ear could finally toutch my pillow...
(sweet)
well... Some people can easily work with only 6 hours of sleep... but I'm obviously not "some people".
It's five-ish right now, and after four cups of coffee I finally have no problems reeding this document without a blurred view of the paint.

And I'm not really happy with the lack of time I have to sit down and answer the emails I want to answer,
Read the blogs I want to read,
Etcetera

But here's the plan...
I catch some sleep tonight (have an early night, and a part-time-day tomorrow) and uhm...
try to update this blog later :-)

Come to Me, I will give you rest (Jesus)

2005-11-30T17:08:00.000+01:00

Read carefully...

I enjoyed my day-off yesterday...
Had fun with my housemates... had a typical girl-afternoon and evening...
well... you know... the important things of life.
hehe
No seriously
It was great to sleep 12 hours in a row,
To slowly start the day, and spend the rest of it with sweet persons, have some real good conversations... all good

Today at work... not a very busy day, Praise God
I can learn things I need to learn in my own tempo... ánd have the time to take a walk with some of my collegues,
share the gospel...
The more I share the gospel, the more I love it...
How wonderful it is, that there is a truth of the Word of God, speaking about forgiveness, freedom, love, peace and care against a world that proclaims: performance, status quo, ligalism, hatery etc.
You can have some problems with people who used (or better said mis-used) the Bible to be hateful, but God never said: "You shall hate your enemy"
He said "bless your enemy"

Alright...
I was about to share something about the Encounterday in Rhenen.
It was great to meet with so many (about 20) people that I knew from summer school
A lot of them from Holland. Which was a bit weird, but very encouraging too.
Just good to know that people around my age in Holland do not settle for a "dead religion",
And are going after Jesus.
I was able to talk to a few that I haven't really talked to in the past, so I liked that.
The founder of "Scheeuw om leven" ("Cry for life", referring to the unborn babies who literally open their mouth as a cry, when they're being aborted)... called us all up to join the "Mars voor het leven" (March for life) December 10th. So I will.
If you read this, please consider joining this also!!!

I got home around midnight, and thought about it... It was good, just good... and I did not really feel like God had done something. Though I KNEW He DID, I could not lay my finger on it. So I prayed something I do not often pray, I said: Father thank you, that You changed me today.

And in the morning, as we were going to our sunday-morning meeting, I suddenly felt I had something to share about the encounterday, though I didn't know exactly what God had done, or what exactly He had put into my heart during that day, Somehow I BELIEVED, (which meens I KNEW) I had received something to share. And I was surprised about what came out.
It was a cry for a "real" church,
Calling up the church in the Netherlands to be Pure and Holy, To repent, Becaus Jesus will only return for a spottless bride, and God will only heal this literally sick (think of cancer, aids, depression) nation when His people repent

So...
that has been on my heart lately

I can't make it on my own

2005-11-25T13:14:00.000+01:00

It's been a while since I've posted something.
I'll post right now. Knowing that faithfull blog-readers (if any) stop visiting my blog once I stop posting...
Believe me or not, I even skipped lunch to do this...
My dear people, if that's not devotional, than I don't know if my socks are really lightblue today. (and they are, I just checked)

The truth is, I like to treat others as I like to be treated, and since I like to read blogs, I thought there must be people reading mine every now and then.

So, the answer to this day,
It's cold, rainy, stormy weather...
...one would like to know: WHY?!

My answer would be: I don't know,

There's one thing I DO know,
I was glad to help my housemate carrying some stuff this morning, I was glad to honestly tell her I'd like her to give me a lift (becasue of the amazing ... weatherconditions today)

I was in the mood for a serious self-pity-party yesterday, and becasue a friend called me, and shared her experiences from last week, I was totally back-on-truth again...
The truth that Jesus came to give me life,
That it's all about Him

It was so uplifting, just because we talked about how we were doing, about Jesus and the Bible and daily things. How she was so exited about Isaiah, and I was about Nehemia...

Also, next saturday there is a day called: Fire Encounterday... it's in Rhenen (not to far from where I live) And this friend and I, we're going there. Not because we're bad christians
I'm learning to stop being too proud; to admit that I need fellow-followers to keep my nose into the right direction...
To keep following and loving Jesus with all that is in me.

God created us to carry eachothers burdens,
to lift eachother up,
to love eachother
to lay down our lives for eachother

If I read the Bible, God is ALL about relation
Relation between Him and men
But also relations between people

I can't and should not try to make it on my own

Well...
This has been on my heart to share this for a while, but I haven't really got the time right now to really make things clear.
I don't know if I made any sence,
And actually... I don't really care
Because, If you are REALLY REALLY interested in the things I just mentioned... than I trust you on posting a comment.

I have to get back to work now

Insight

2005-11-17T17:40:00.000+01:00

Last time I posted a comment it was about my dull task...
Today,... I'm still doing the same task (It's just something we've got to finish this week) BUT today I got a nice in-between-task,
The sweet thing was,
That this collegue had some time to actually explain what this department is actually doing/selling/working on...
So I finally feel like I'm starting to understand what MY 'deal' is, in this whole company.

of course,... I already had a general idea, but gaining some more insight was so uplifting....

To add some biblical, I found this verse on insight:

Eph.1.9
For He has made known to us in all wisdom and insight the mystery of His will, according to his purpose which He set forth in Christ.

My experience is, that the Holy Spirit is our Helper, Who gives us insight while reading the Bible, when whe ask his help.

Controller

2005-11-11T10:56:00.000+01:00

I'm doing one of the most dull tasks you could ever imagine...

A list of different kind of jobs in a company with let's say... over 5000 coworkers.
You see a jobtitle, and you have to add a matching code to the job-title...

And now I ran in to this jobtitle: JR ASS CONTROLLER

I just can't seem to find the proper jobcode

Vacancy or vacation

2005-11-10T11:38:00.000+01:00

I need a good vacation to another culture...

of would I choose to find a better job...

or both...

or just a good night of sleep

Blessed are the hungry

2005-11-07T17:16:00.001+01:00

I’m … being less valuable for my boss as I should today, because I only had like 4, 5 hours of sleep last night. But it was worth it, because I’ve had such an encouraging weekend!
I’ll try to summarise it:

A few young people of our church have been praying for the youth group every Sunday since the beginning of september. The past few times we’ve prayed specificly for the youth meeting we had last Saturday… I was asked to play the guitar… I was a bit nervous… in a healthy way, and after all the prayers I was really really exited about the evening.
During the meeting, I saw prayers being answered right before my eyes. There were like 20 teen – agers, all of them experienced God, and it was like all of them had a "place" in that meeting… which is a miracle in itself, because usually youngsters from that age do not accept each others differences so easily as they did last Saturday. That is what I love about being one (body) in Christ.

It may sound like an average meeting, but to our youth this is a huge miracle. Also, it was not the amount of teen-agers that counted, it’s the genuine touch of God… It ’s so important to experience Him. I’m so glad Gregg, Dan and Frank were there to serve these teen-agers that night. Next satuday me and some other girls are going to join the youth-meeting again, as a "follow-up".

Now last Sunday (the morning after ;-))Gregg, Dan, Frank & his wife & daughter, Loes and LJ were in our Sunday-morning-meeting. For me, I was so glad to be able to talk (shortly) to them. And I was so encouraged by the testimonies, prayers and just the fact that they were there with us.A lot of teen-agers who were there on Saturday, were there as well (it was great to see they were eager to experience more)… I’ve asked some girls to give me their adress, so we could write eachother, that would be great! My vision for Dutch teenagers has been refreshed during that meeting…
sigh If only words could tell what’s on my heart

Yesterday evening I joined my mom and a colleague and a friend to a healing-meeting somewhere in Holland. It lasted till midnight, but it was worth it, both the colleague and the friend got touched by God, and a lot of miracles happened that evening!
And I was so exited to see faith and hope like rising in people during that evening. BUT something struck me… which made me sad in a way: this pastor who is dilligently serving this sick nation, is doing what all Dutch christians should be doing: preach the gospel, preach hope, and lay hands on the sick. Well, even though the music, and the way they arrange the whole evening is not "my style", it’s great that this church is known for miracles and hope.

I’m going home… write one of the girls I got an adress from, and ehm… EAT
Blessed are the hungry

Zeist en Wijk (Wijk en Aalburg)

2005-11-04T22:46:00.000+01:00

Also,

I should add more pictures...
I just don't feel like doing that sometimes

But take my word for it...
Zeist is (For Dutch standards) absolutely beautiful during the fall
I've enjoyed every single (rainy) day :-)

AND AND AND AND AND AND!!!
THis sunday Gregg will come to our church...
But tomorrow he'll come to speak at a youth-praise-meeting in Wijk.... (short for: Wijk en Aalburg, not to be mistaken for Wijk bij Duurstede)
I'm so exited about this evening.
It will be great!
I hope to see eyes of these teen-agers changed, (which is not possible without a changing-miracle in someones heart, God alone can do so)

Put your hope in the Lord, for with the Lord is UNFAILING LOVE and FULLY REDEMPTION

Working 9 till 5

2005-11-04T22:32:00.000+01:00

When I started my job, I just knew that somehow I'd learn a lot, even though the job is simple; following orders that's all.

I've learned how to do certain tasks that are essential in the department, BUT that's not what I'm talking about...
This week, I was at work, I had some things to do, but not enough to fill my day with. Somehow no-one seemed to have time to teach me how to do something new.
So, I got myself my third cup of coffee,
And a third visit to the toilet (the place where great insight-moments take place, and the place of deliverance)
So there I was, thinking about my job, and in my thoughts I said: "I'm doing absolutely nothing"

It's like a simple cry of someone feeling useless for this sickly achievement oriented society or something like that.
And immediately an answer-thought came: "True", "Sometimes you just don't have to do anything."

It's difficult to feel valuable when you're actually doing nothing. But God is not really interested in 'me-being-busy'... He created me, and therefore I am useful and valuable, I cannot do anything about it. That is such a relieve! But also something I have to learn... I'm still learning this... but this week was like a revelation on that.

I'm not saying that from now on I will make a total mess of my life, body, job, study, relations...
But the case is, not to measure who I am in Christ, on what I achieve / on how busy I am.

HAYhay

2005-10-31T12:57:00.000+01:00

Finally,

It took me a while to write something...
And because I waited so long, it's even harder to summarise the last month. Well...
I have a job now. 9 - till- five, 4 days in a week. It's a sort of administer - job, at a company calledHayGroup.
It's oke...

Somehow I thought that surrendering yourself to God's will, automaticly included some sort of routine-less life. But instead, I find myself in a plain life.
I learn every day at this job. Things I can not learn anywhere else... and I have no clue why I'm living in Zeist, and why I'm working here at HayGroup.
Last week it struck me that folowing Jesus has not anything to do with recieving honour of men, or with striving for money or striving in order to recieve God's favour, it has to do with knowing Him and pleasing Him.
weather you have a job... or not...
graduated... or not...
look good, feel good

Sorry, I have to work again...

Graduated!!!!!!!

2005-10-15T16:45:00.000+02:00

I promised God to give Him all the credits...
So that's what I do right now:
I graduated last thursday. It was great. I just know people prayed for me, because I was not too nervous... I did not clam up during my final presentation... and got some very positieve reactions.
God knew my wishes; I hoped for a lot of people to show up at my presentation... and I guess like 15 people showed up...
to give you an idea... usually it's just parents, one or two friends and three coaches from school...

I have to be honest... I'm glad it's over, glad I'm done, relieved. BUT it does not really feel like "wow". the diploma-presentation will be the 27st... so I'll probably feel more "graduated" by then.

I just want to share, that God really helped me during my internship...
Everytime I tried to work something out, It somehow got stuck... and every single time I just had to reach that point where I said: "Lord, I don't know what I'm doing here, I don't know what it is You want me to do here, please help me, Here You have my internship, I just lost all insights..."
The day after a prayer like this, would always... ALWAYS be a very productive day, a day where I saw clearly what needed to be done...
It's just really about coming to the end of me,
even in something so earthly as a study, and then God can work through me.
A good verse that really helped me while writing my final essay was: Isaiah 41:9b + 10 + 13

You are my servant -
I have chosen you and not cast you off
I am your God
Fear not
I will help you

while I was reading this over and over again, I thought... wow... I'm His servant... I'm not here to serve this company, this school, this society, this wicked world, my parents OR myself; I'm here to serve Jesus and... (this is the crazy part) He is helping me to do that!!! He is helping me to serve Him!!!
Ever saw a king helping his clean-up-group with cleaning the toilets? Well... that is actually what Jesus does! He's my King, I willingly serve Him, but He's always there to help me!

As I was preparing for my final presentation, I read through the documents I wrote during my internship, and it wasn't all perfect, but some lines were just too good to be mine... but they were... hehe... so I just thanked God for the clear-views He gave me on some issues.

So... what next... I've found a job in Zeist... just to be able to pay my rent the next two months...
and use the time to look for a next study... because I decided to work in the round of education, and I'm not qualified as a teacher... YET

Discussions

2005-10-11T14:48:00.000+02:00

The issue is not: getting your right, or agreeing with one another
The issue is, getting to know what is true...

mom

...amen

2005-10-09T16:02:00.000+02:00

Next Thursday, mark this moment in your diary... (or not) ;-)
My final presentation... at 11:30am
Well...

I can't imagine that I'll be graduating within just one week. To me, school is like 'home'. I know so many people, and I feel at home there. I'm going to miss that. But well, I cried when I had to leave primary school for secundary school bacause I have had such a good time there, but I'm glad that I'm not in primary school right now ;-)
Better to be sad to leave, than to be careless about it. Still... hope I won't burst out crying after my presentation ;-)
I'm quite nervous about it. You know... not like I'm clammed up, but just so badly want to do things well.
While GOD is the One Who does ALL THINGS WELL.
The great thing is (I'm encouraging myself here) that when He looks at me he looks at me through the blood of Jesus,
it's like He is so in love with me, that He is blind by love, and sees me as flawless.

After today's meeting someone said: You wíll be at peace when you give your presentation.
So I guess I will...
I recieve it! ;-) hehe...

Childish?!

2005-10-08T21:39:00.000+02:00

Sometimes I just forget things I think about…
And I thought, I should share my thoughts more often…

as I was walking through Sliedrecht this evening (the place I was born&raised) I thought about how I feel when I’m “on fire”;
That the whole world just does not matter to me, and I even don’t feel at home in this world, because I have such a strong sense of belonging to Jesus only. And it’s such a state of knowing the Truth and being free and filled with joy despite circumstances, and hating everything that presents a weak example and/or a twisted view of the truth, fullness of joy and peace that God presents. It's being in a state where the Holy Spirit just naturally sais: this is good, and this is not.
Today I thought about that, and I missed it…
And I prayed: Holy Spirit, please testify with my spirit.
I don’t know why that little verse came in to my mind.
It’s from Romans 8:16 The Spirit Himself testifies with our own spirit that we are children of God.

Usually I think about this verse like: Praise God, I’m His child… and nothing else. So I started think about it: what does the Holy Spirit testify.
So let me think... This verse actually points out that I am a child of God.
Which means… I am a child of the Holy One, of the Almighty One.
Being His child means I look like Him, I AM LIKE HIM. I look/behave the same. It’s like a small copy.
So…
…being His child means: Being holy as He is Holy.
And if I pray the Holy Spirit to testify with my Spirit that I’m His child, that I’m not only praying: Lord, make me feel accepted once again…
But I’m praying: Holy Spirit help me to be like He is, testify with my spirit how Holy He is, and what I am like / should be like.

This is just a thought of what Romans 8:16 is about, I’m not done thinking about it, but didn’t want to loose my thoughts on this either…

If only I’d really get a hold of this truth…

For[even the whole] creation (all nature) waits expectantly and longs earnestly for God’s sons to be made known [waits for the revealing, the disclosing of their sonship].

Peanuts

2005-10-07T13:32:00.000+02:00

To give myself a little break here

Preparing my final presentation is not easy to me…
Tonight I dreamed about a place I used to work. I had a great time there, in my dreams, it was just very nice to be there again. As I woke up (from the incredible mooo – sound that my alarm clock makes) I thought about it… how strange it was that I dreamed this.
All of a sudden I thought: AaW NO!!! I forgot a party they had the evening before. And yesterday I just knew I was forgetting ‘something’…

And I felt miserable, because I really really like these people, I just forgot…
It makes me so mad, that my mind is just not at ease as it should be.

Back on topic
Peanuts… or actually: peanut butter.
I love peanut butter in my ice-cream. I had it once in a flavor of Ben&Jerry’s…
I’m actually looking for people who share my opinion: that peanut butter in ice-cream tastes good, specially with chunks of chocolate-cookies!
It does! Try it!

Ben&Jerry's PeanutButterCup

Beautiful

2005-10-03T13:01:00.000+02:00

I should work on my final presentation, but just could not find any willingness to work. which made me feel guilty again about not doing something.
You know the theory: do your best, and God will do the rest?!
I trust God in helping me, but thought: I'm not doing my best, I'm actually doing nothing... so how could God possibly "do the rest".

And then I listened to Jason Upton... some song about 'dancing with the Father'. So I got up from my seat and danced for a moment. And I thought about waves and about this verse in Psalm 42: Deep calls to deep

So I looked up this verse and it was encouraging. So maybe it's encouraging to you as well:

Psalm 42:6-8
O my God, my life is cast down upon me [and I find a burden more than I can bear]; therefore will I [earnestly] remember You from the land of the Jordan [river] and the [summits of Mount] Hermon, from the little mountain Mizar.
[Roaring] deep calls to [roaring] deep at the thunder of Your waterspouts; all your breakers and Your rolling waves have gone over me.
Yet the Lord will command His lovingkindness in the daytime, and in the night His song shall be with me, a prayer to the God of my life.

He commands His lovingkindness...
This is just love... He loves me and loves to bless me...
I have to obey, but not strive in order to get something "out of God"...
He gives. His song shall be with me...
I fear no evil, for He is with me.

Don't mistake the opinion of the multitude for truth...

2005-10-01T18:34:00.000+02:00

I get these "blessings from DaySpring"-email once in a while. Last time it said something about II Chronicles 16:9

For the eyes of the Lord run to and fro throughout the whole earth to show Himself strong in behalf of those whose hearts are blameless toward Him.

I thought... I'm going to read more of that once I'm on the bus back to Sliedrecht. And I started in chapter 16... to chapter 19.
It's about this man, Jehoshaphat, who was reigning over Judah at that time. It's much to read. But it's just too good NOT to share, so here are a few verses that struck me:

II Chronicles 17:7 Also in the third year of his reign he send his princes (So and So) to teach in the cities of Judah; and with them were the Levites (So and So); and with these Levites were the priests (So and So).
And they taught in Judah, and had the Book of the Law of the Lord with them; they went about throughout all the cities of Judah and taught among the people.

So this whole group taught, with the Book of the Law of the Lord with them... and now... the result of this:

And the terror from the Lord fell upon all the kingdoms of the lands that were round about Judah, so that they made no war against Jehoshaphat.

So the result is: no war!!!

And some of the Philistines brought Jehoshaphat gifts and tribute silver, and the Arabs brought him flocks: 7,700 each of rams and of he-goats. And Jehoshaphat became very great. He built in Judah fortresses and store cities.

So Jehoshaphat became great... I believe it's not about 'how great you can become when you keep God's Law', but it DOES point out how powerful the effects are of teaching God's Word.

And then there was this other situation. Jehoshaphat was talking to Ahad about going into a battle with Syria or not. And Jehoshaphat said:(II Chronicles 18:4-13)

Inquire first, I pray you, for the word of the Lord today. So king Ahab gathered together the prophets, 400 men and asked: shall we go to battle, or shall I forbear? and they said: Go up, for God will deliver it into the kings hand.

So 400 prophets, people who should know God's heart say: "Go".

But Jehoshaphat said: Is there not another prophet of the Lord here by whom we may inquire?

I think it's so funny. It's like Jehoshaphat is not even listening to 400 men. He wants to know if there is a prophet of the Lord...
Ahab said: there IS another man, Micaiah, by whom we may inquire of the Lord, but I hate him, for he never has prophesied good for me, but always evil. And Jehoshaphat said: Let not the king say so. [...] bring quickly Micaiah. [..] The messenger who went to call Micaiah said to him: Behold, the words of the prophets foretell good to the king with one accord. So let your word be like one of them, and speak favorably.

Micaiah was asked to agree with what all the other 400 said. I think, when 400 prophets (false or not) foretell with one accord, it takes guts, faith and a deep knowledge of the heart of God to say what Micaiah said:

As the Lord lives, what my God says, that will I speak.

And Micaiah was the only one who foretold what would actually happen (read it for yourselves). 1 against 400...

"Don't mistake the opinion of the multitude for truth." (Loesje)

II Chronicles 19:28 - 31
So Ahab king of Israel and Jehoshaphat king of Judah went up to Ramoth-gilead. And Ahad said to Jehoshaphat, I will disguise myself and will go to the battle, but you put on your royal robes. So King Ahad of Israel disguised himself, and they went into the battle. Now Syria's king had commanded his chariot captains, Fight not with small or great, but only with the king of Israel

Now think about it... Syria told his captains to aim for the king of Israel only... Who of the two do you think looked like a king (Ahab disguised and Jehoshaphat with royal ropes... So logically Syria's captains are like pouncing on Jehoshaphat because they mistake him for the king. This is what happened:

when the captains of the chariots saw Jehoshaphat they said, It's the king of Israel. So they turned to fight against him,
(I would have wet my pants if I were Jehoshaphat at that moment, seeing this whole group of captains coming towards me to fight me) But Jehoshaphat knew the Word of God which sais: Call upon the Lord and He shall come to rescue ,
BUT Jehoshaphat cried out, and the Lord helped him; and God moved them to depart from him.

God keeps His Word. His Word is the standard and His Word is true and powerful. It's just wonderful isn't it...

Whole meal bread!!!

2005-09-30T14:11:00.000+02:00

Today: Got a nice chair from a the studentchurch-pastor... in the same way that I got my bike from Robin. Yesterday my father came to see my room in Zeist, to have diner... As I was just summarising God's provisions for me during the last weeks, he was surprised. And so was I actually. Just sharing all the things made me believe more and more that God takes (GOOD!) care of me! It made me so happy!

He knows me so well. He knows the things I love, I hate, I enjoy... the petitions of my heart even if I do not speak them out loud.

Right now, I'm at school. My essay was good enough to graduate, so that's a relieve, BUT... I just got like 10 points/questions that I should deal with in my presentation in order to graduate with a nice grade.
With that... There's another job-application running... and a cry for wisdom in social contacts... and some things I'd rather not share right now.

And all that has brought me to this day... this day that the Lord has made...
So that I might rejoyce and be glad and be still and know that He is God...

was I just preaching to me?

I wanted to nag about how tired I was this morning... haha...
I'll just go home, make some fresh coffee, buy some whole-meal-bread and share my heart with my Heavenly Father instead of you all. =)

They that wait upon the Lord....

2005-09-28T16:39:00.000+02:00

People... I'm really tired... there are a lot of things going on at this moment...

But one thing is really really positive: I'm aloud to give my final presentation!!!!
which means that the teacher at my school thinks my final essay is good enough for me to graduate!!!

oktober 13th I'll have this presentation...

But at this moment, I'd rather have energy, than this great news that I'll probably graduate the 13th.
Well... They that wait upon the Lord... they shall renew their strength

you-nity!!!

2005-09-26T10:50:00.000+02:00

You-NITY

Right after this intense week of study... I had an intense weekend at You-nity. It was near Doetinchem. In the east of Holland... Near Germany actually.

I couldn't possibly get all the experiences of this weekend in one entry.
The great thing was...
...how striking... the unity.

How gossip and critisicm have made the church in Holland sick and ineffective. And how God is raising His people up to be one, to be His people.

I guess the average age was 16. But there were a lot of young people around 12 years old as well. And they were hungry for God, going after Him and having His wisdom. I was amazed and very glad to see that. I always believed that God especially uses teen-agers to be powerful for Him. Change nations by loving Him, by knowing they're loved by Him.
1 John has some good verses about God's gifts for teen-agers. But in the bible a few kings were 16 and 17 and 18 years old. Maria was young when she gave birth to Jesus.

There is something powerful in young people and God loves it so much, because He has made young people powerful like that. It s a power that sais: I know I'm loved by God, Jesus died for us all, we all believe in the same Jezus, so lets stop the $#@&#* and let His will be done.

This is not a christian bless-me party-club.
God is raising this army of young people... and He is Mighty

Besides that.. I met some great people... I had a good time with three girls from my church (Natasja, Nikita and Lisa) and a lot of people that Natasja already knew. It was great to see Natasja step out in the thing God called her to do (this weekend, but also in the future) To teach about dance and to dance.

Friday... Saturday... had some good seminars... About the gifts of the Holy SPirit and identity in CHrist. Yesterday afternoon we had the last meeting. We had a dance to show (which was fun to do) and after that, we started praising... and all I could think of was David... David being a man after God's heart. And my prayer at that moment was... to be a woman after God's heart.

Well after singing a few songs, a woman came up and started to share something. Ones she started talking (she only spoke three words or something) I started crying. I don't know why, I asked, but still don't know. There was no conviction of anything, no tangible things going on in my heart at that moment. It didn't even feel like I needed some underlying stress to get out...
I just cried.
The only thing I know is that it was God, and it was somehow liberating and it was very good to be there at that moment.

At 6pm we were all having a after-you-nity-weekend-moment at Mac Donalds. We just had fun.

I just had a good time there. =)

Essay

2005-09-23T10:30:00.000+02:00

YES YES Yes....
Yesterday my final essay came out of the printer...
This morning I went to school to get the 70 pages binded...
I just know that I know that I know, that God helped me with every page I wrote. What a relieve....

Well... it ain't over till it's over...
Next week I'll hear if this essay is good enough. Which meens I am aloud to give a presentation.
If my essay is good, and that last presentation is good... than I'll get my diploma...

Exiting weeks

to let you know what is on my mind...

2005-09-22T14:35:00.000+02:00

Getting to Know Me
By way of Pilgrim’s Scribblings

Because I liked reading the answers of others...
and 'cause it 's a way to tell something about myself... without being afraid of what you might think of that...

5 things I hope to do before I die:

1)Become the person God intended me to be, and to fullfill my purpose in this life. (How could I NOT want that)
2)Get married
3)Let all teen-agers in the Netherlands know that God, His Word and prayer (spending a lifetime with Him) is exiting and not boring at all.
4)Start a bible school... or be a part of one.
5)I hope to graduate... learn to trust God 100%

5 things I can do:

1) Play guitar
2) Dream, picture things that people tell me
3) Wake up early to make breakfast
4) Be very enthousiastic about things I read in the Bible
5) Enjoy monday-mornings

5 things I cannot do:

1) Be quick
2) Hide my emotions
3) Drink coffee with a lot of sugar and like it
4) Listen to ... heavy metal and like it
5) Reach my nose with my toungue (but Praise God... all things are possible for those who believe)

5 things that attract me to the opposite sex:

1) Humor
2) Enthousiasm
3) A love for people (teenagers especially)
4) Encouraging (me) by the way he acts and speaks
5) Looks... (It's very important he does not remind me of barbie KEN)

5 things I say most often:

1) "Echt"
2) "Grutten"
3) "Glorie"
4) "Minder fijn" instead of *@#&$
5) ehm...

5 most important books you’ve read: (I'll just name the last ones I've read)

1) The Bible
2) That book from Brother Andrew... what was it...
3) De strijd om je hart
4) Straighforward, ehm... names... names...
5) Face Down, Matt Redman