HAYhay

Finally,

It took me a while to write something...
And because I waited so long, it's even harder to summarise the last month. Well...
I have a job now. 9 - till- five, 4 days in a week. It's a sort of administer - job, at a company calledHayGroup.
It's oke...

Somehow I thought that surrendering yourself to God's will, automaticly included some sort of routine-less life. But instead, I find myself in a plain life.
I learn every day at this job. Things I can not learn anywhere else... and I have no clue why I'm living in Zeist, and why I'm working here at HayGroup.
Last week it struck me that folowing Jesus has not anything to do with recieving honour of men, or with striving for money or striving in order to recieve God's favour, it has to do with knowing Him and pleasing Him.
weather you have a job... or not...
graduated... or not...
look good, feel good

Sorry, I have to work again...

Graduated!!!!!!!

I promised God to give Him all the credits...
So that's what I do right now:
I graduated last thursday. It was great. I just know people prayed for me, because I was not too nervous... I did not clam up during my final presentation... and got some very positieve reactions.
God knew my wishes; I hoped for a lot of people to show up at my presentation... and I guess like 15 people showed up...
to give you an idea... usually it's just parents, one or two friends and three coaches from school...

I have to be honest... I'm glad it's over, glad I'm done, relieved. BUT it does not really feel like "wow". the diploma-presentation will be the 27st... so I'll probably feel more "graduated" by then.

I just want to share, that God really helped me during my internship...
Everytime I tried to work something out, It somehow got stuck... and every single time I just had to reach that point where I said: "Lord, I don't know what I'm doing here, I don't know what it is You want me to do here, please help me, Here You have my internship, I just lost all insights..."
The day after a prayer like this, would always... ALWAYS be a very productive day, a day where I saw clearly what needed to be done...
It's just really about coming to the end of me,
even in something so earthly as a study, and then God can work through me.
A good verse that really helped me while writing my final essay was: Isaiah 41:9b + 10 + 13

You are my servant -
I have chosen you and not cast you off
I am your God
Fear not
I will help you

while I was reading this over and over again, I thought... wow... I'm His servant... I'm not here to serve this company, this school, this society, this wicked world, my parents OR myself; I'm here to serve Jesus and... (this is the crazy part) He is helping me to do that!!! He is helping me to serve Him!!!
Ever saw a king helping his clean-up-group with cleaning the toilets? Well... that is actually what Jesus does! He's my King, I willingly serve Him, but He's always there to help me!

As I was preparing for my final presentation, I read through the documents I wrote during my internship, and it wasn't all perfect, but some lines were just too good to be mine... but they were... hehe... so I just thanked God for the clear-views He gave me on some issues.

So... what next... I've found a job in Zeist... just to be able to pay my rent the next two months...
and use the time to look for a next study... because I decided to work in the round of education, and I'm not qualified as a teacher... YET

Discussions

The issue is not: getting your right, or agreeing with one another
The issue is, getting to know what is true...

mom

...amen

Next Thursday, mark this moment in your diary... (or not) ;-)
My final presentation... at 11:30am
Well...

I can't imagine that I'll be graduating within just one week. To me, school is like 'home'. I know so many people, and I feel at home there. I'm going to miss that. But well, I cried when I had to leave primary school for secundary school bacause I have had such a good time there, but I'm glad that I'm not in primary school right now ;-)
Better to be sad to leave, than to be careless about it. Still... hope I won't burst out crying after my presentation ;-)
I'm quite nervous about it. You know... not like I'm clammed up, but just so badly want to do things well.
While GOD is the One Who does ALL THINGS WELL.
The great thing is (I'm encouraging myself here) that when He looks at me he looks at me through the blood of Jesus,
it's like He is so in love with me, that He is blind by love, and sees me as flawless.

After today's meeting someone said: You wíll be at peace when you give your presentation.
So I guess I will...
I recieve it! ;-) hehe...

Childish?!

Sometimes I just forget things I think about…
And I thought, I should share my thoughts more often…

as I was walking through Sliedrecht this evening (the place I was born&raised) I thought about how I feel when I’m “on fire”;
That the whole world just does not matter to me, and I even don’t feel at home in this world, because I have such a strong sense of belonging to Jesus only. And it’s such a state of knowing the Truth and being free and filled with joy despite circumstances, and hating everything that presents a weak example and/or a twisted view of the truth, fullness of joy and peace that God presents. It's being in a state where the Holy Spirit just naturally sais: this is good, and this is not.
Today I thought about that, and I missed it…
And I prayed: Holy Spirit, please testify with my spirit.
I don’t know why that little verse came in to my mind.
It’s from Romans 8:16 The Spirit Himself testifies with our own spirit that we are children of God.

Usually I think about this verse like: Praise God, I’m His child… and nothing else. So I started think about it: what does the Holy Spirit testify.
So let me think... This verse actually points out that I am a child of God.
Which means… I am a child of the Holy One, of the Almighty One.
Being His child means I look like Him, I AM LIKE HIM. I look/behave the same. It’s like a small copy.
So…
…being His child means: Being holy as He is Holy.
And if I pray the Holy Spirit to testify with my Spirit that I’m His child, that I’m not only praying: Lord, make me feel accepted once again…
But I’m praying: Holy Spirit help me to be like He is, testify with my spirit how Holy He is, and what I am like / should be like.

This is just a thought of what Romans 8:16 is about, I’m not done thinking about it, but didn’t want to loose my thoughts on this either…

If only I’d really get a hold of this truth…

For[even the whole] creation (all nature) waits expectantly and longs earnestly for God’s sons to be made known [waits for the revealing, the disclosing of their sonship].

Peanuts

To give myself a little break here

Preparing my final presentation is not easy to me…
Tonight I dreamed about a place I used to work. I had a great time there, in my dreams, it was just very nice to be there again. As I woke up (from the incredible mooo – sound that my alarm clock makes) I thought about it… how strange it was that I dreamed this.
All of a sudden I thought: AaW NO!!! I forgot a party they had the evening before. And yesterday I just knew I was forgetting ‘something’…

And I felt miserable, because I really really like these people, I just forgot…
It makes me so mad, that my mind is just not at ease as it should be.

Back on topic
Peanuts… or actually: peanut butter.
I love peanut butter in my ice-cream. I had it once in a flavor of Ben&Jerry’s…
I’m actually looking for people who share my opinion: that peanut butter in ice-cream tastes good, specially with chunks of chocolate-cookies!
It does! Try it!

Ben&Jerry's PeanutButterCup

Beautiful

I should work on my final presentation, but just could not find any willingness to work. which made me feel guilty again about not doing something.
You know the theory: do your best, and God will do the rest?!
I trust God in helping me, but thought: I'm not doing my best, I'm actually doing nothing... so how could God possibly "do the rest".

And then I listened to Jason Upton... some song about 'dancing with the Father'. So I got up from my seat and danced for a moment. And I thought about waves and about this verse in Psalm 42: Deep calls to deep

So I looked up this verse and it was encouraging. So maybe it's encouraging to you as well:

Psalm 42:6-8
O my God, my life is cast down upon me [and I find a burden more than I can bear]; therefore will I [earnestly] remember You from the land of the Jordan [river] and the [summits of Mount] Hermon, from the little mountain Mizar.
[Roaring] deep calls to [roaring] deep at the thunder of Your waterspouts; all your breakers and Your rolling waves have gone over me.
Yet the Lord will command His lovingkindness in the daytime, and in the night His song shall be with me, a prayer to the God of my life.


He commands His lovingkindness...
This is just love... He loves me and loves to bless me...
I have to obey, but not strive in order to get something "out of God"...
He gives. His song shall be with me...
I fear no evil, for He is with me.

Don't mistake the opinion of the multitude for truth...

I get these "blessings from DaySpring"-email once in a while. Last time it said something about II Chronicles 16:9

For the eyes of the Lord run to and fro throughout the whole earth to show Himself strong in behalf of those whose hearts are blameless toward Him.

I thought... I'm going to read more of that once I'm on the bus back to Sliedrecht. And I started in chapter 16... to chapter 19.
It's about this man, Jehoshaphat, who was reigning over Judah at that time. It's much to read. But it's just too good NOT to share, so here are a few verses that struck me:

II Chronicles 17:7 Also in the third year of his reign he send his princes (So and So) to teach in the cities of Judah; and with them were the Levites (So and So); and with these Levites were the priests (So and So).
And they taught in Judah, and had the Book of the Law of the Lord with them; they went about throughout all the cities of Judah and taught among the people.

So this whole group taught, with the Book of the Law of the Lord with them... and now... the result of this:

And the terror from the Lord fell upon all the kingdoms of the lands that were round about Judah, so that they made no war against Jehoshaphat.

So the result is: no war!!!

And some of the Philistines brought Jehoshaphat gifts and tribute silver, and the Arabs brought him flocks: 7,700 each of rams and of he-goats. And Jehoshaphat became very great. He built in Judah fortresses and store cities.

So Jehoshaphat became great... I believe it's not about 'how great you can become when you keep God's Law', but it DOES point out how powerful the effects are of teaching God's Word.


And then there was this other situation. Jehoshaphat was talking to Ahad about going into a battle with Syria or not. And Jehoshaphat said:(II Chronicles 18:4-13)

Inquire first, I pray you, for the word of the Lord today. So king Ahab gathered together the prophets, 400 men and asked: shall we go to battle, or shall I forbear? and they said: Go up, for God will deliver it into the kings hand.

So 400 prophets, people who should know God's heart say: "Go".

But Jehoshaphat said: Is there not another prophet of the Lord here by whom we may inquire?

I think it's so funny. It's like Jehoshaphat is not even listening to 400 men. He wants to know if there is a prophet of the Lord...
Ahab said: there IS another man, Micaiah, by whom we may inquire of the Lord, but I hate him, for he never has prophesied good for me, but always evil. And Jehoshaphat said: Let not the king say so. [...] bring quickly Micaiah. [..] The messenger who went to call Micaiah said to him: Behold, the words of the prophets foretell good to the king with one accord. So let your word be like one of them, and speak favorably.

Micaiah was asked to agree with what all the other 400 said. I think, when 400 prophets (false or not) foretell with one accord, it takes guts, faith and a deep knowledge of the heart of God to say what Micaiah said:

As the Lord lives, what my God says, that will I speak.

And Micaiah was the only one who foretold what would actually happen (read it for yourselves). 1 against 400...

"Don't mistake the opinion of the multitude for truth." (Loesje)


II Chronicles 19:28 - 31
So Ahab king of Israel and Jehoshaphat king of Judah went up to Ramoth-gilead. And Ahad said to Jehoshaphat, I will disguise myself and will go to the battle, but you put on your royal robes. So King Ahad of Israel disguised himself, and they went into the battle. Now Syria's king had commanded his chariot captains, Fight not with small or great, but only with the king of Israel

Now think about it... Syria told his captains to aim for the king of Israel only... Who of the two do you think looked like a king (Ahab disguised and Jehoshaphat with royal ropes... So logically Syria's captains are like pouncing on Jehoshaphat because they mistake him for the king. This is what happened:

when the captains of the chariots saw Jehoshaphat they said, It's the king of Israel. So they turned to fight against him,
(I would have wet my pants if I were Jehoshaphat at that moment, seeing this whole group of captains coming towards me to fight me) But Jehoshaphat knew the Word of God which sais: Call upon the Lord and He shall come to rescue ,
BUT Jehoshaphat cried out, and the Lord helped him; and God moved them to depart from him.


God keeps His Word. His Word is the standard and His Word is true and powerful. It's just wonderful isn't it...